Awkward chat up lines

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Awkward chat up lines

Postby Eternauta » Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:22 pm

This should be easy. We're on the internet so you people are awkward fuck ups (it's still 1998 isn't it?) so let's pool together our know-how and put together enough awkward chat up lines to fill a book worthy of being scorned in a Seanbaby's column, I know you can do it. Lemme start:

"Hey sweetie, I bet you fuck better than my wife" (if you wanna be edgy and 4channy use "daughter" instead)

"Your hair smell just like mother's"

"You look like an Angel just fallen from the sky to fornicate with me under Jesus Christ's unblinking gaze"
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby LaoWai » Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:32 pm

"You've got really pretty skin...and so much of it!"
"Your phenotypes differ from mine quite strikingly. Wanna add some variety to the species?"
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby NudgeNudge » Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:35 pm

I once heard (I think it was a friend of a friend who said it) probably the grossest pick up line ever... I'll put it in spoiler tags so that it doesn't hurt any sensibilities...

Spoiler: show
I'm gonna eat your period with a spoon


And now I'll try to forget that line forever.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby sunglasses » Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:50 pm

It was on National Lampoon's Summer Vacation:
"My dad says I'm a good kisser."
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Eternauta » Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:16 pm

NudgeNudge wrote:I once heard (I think it was a friend of a friend who said it) probably the grossest pick up line ever... I'll put it in spoiler tags so that it doesn't hurt any sensibilities...

Spoiler: show
I'm gonna eat your period with a spoon


And now I'll try to forget that line forever.


An acquaintance of mine actually said "I'd suck her farts with a straw" once.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby JamishT » Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:42 pm

I'd like to take your face off and mount it on my wall.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby JamishT » Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:44 pm

JamishT wrote:I'd like to take your face off and mount it on my wall.


And I did actually say that to a friend once. She married some other guy.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Overlord Moo » Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:03 pm

"Hey babe. That's a nice pair of chest-icles you've got there."
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby gregfrankenstein » Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:47 pm

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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Phighter » Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:19 am

"I like your forehead."

(edit: I actually used this on a girl once...I'd recommend not to.)
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby JamesT » Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:39 am

"Hey baby, if I were in charge of the alphabet I'd put U and I fucking because I'm so lonely."

Make sure to wink and thrust your hips while sobbing for full effect.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Matthew Notch » Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:42 am

Yeah baby, I'm hung like a baby. About 8 pounds, 3 ounces.


hey oh
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Phighter » Mon Jun 17, 2013 4:19 am

"Sir Mix-A-Lot and I share an affinity for backsides. Care to show me yours?"
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Cullenmcpimpin » Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:30 am

hey baby care to press those knockers against my wood to form a a classy door?
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Australia » Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:40 am

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you sure as hell look fucked up.

Will you be my Eva Braun?

Apparently I'm in a roofie circle. Care to join me?
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