Awkward chat up lines

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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby JamishT » Fri Nov 06, 2015 2:42 am

Hey ladies, how about we be like every dance-y song ever and go four on the floor?
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With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Matthew Notch » Sun Jan 10, 2016 8:09 am

Oh god oh god oh god I heard three truly awful ones just now.

Have you heard the latest news in astronomy
There's only going to be seven planets after I destroy Uranus


Do you like tapes and CDs
Good, I'll tape my dick to your forehead and you can CDs nutz


daisies or roses
I'm just checking what to put in the casket after I murder that pussy


EDIT: Guess I should mention they all came from this video. And so did this one:

Bitch
Black people always think I'm Ashton Kutcher
  • 14

It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Phighter » Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:50 pm

I want to say hello from the inside. Of you.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby JamishT » Mon Jan 11, 2016 7:22 am

Hey girl, you've awakened my force, like a Rey of sunshine on a...oh I don't know where I'm going with this, and I've never seen any of the movies.
  • 9

JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Matthew Notch » Mon Jan 11, 2016 10:01 am

It's not that hard, JamishT. Just recite this to your lady and then name your firstborn after me as thanks:

"Princess of the galaxy
Daughter of the night
Show me no resistance love,
But show me your dark side."
/finn
  • 6

It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Delta Jim » Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:17 am

Hey, girl, I heard you were looking for a stud! Well I've got the std and all I need is u.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Nullbert » Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:40 pm

Hey there, girl, have you ever considered becoming a single mother?
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Matthew Notch » Mon May 09, 2016 2:15 am

Girl, you make me think of my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own tonight.
  • 10

It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby JamishT » Mon May 09, 2016 4:50 am

Hey girl, are you a guitar string, because I'd like to pluck you on my front porch all night long.

Hmm.
  • 8

JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Anglerphobe » Mon May 09, 2016 10:27 pm

Am I pleased to see you or is that a gun in my pocket don't scream now it won't save you.
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"Tusser, they tell me, when thou wert alive,
Thou, teaching thrift, thyselfe couldst never thrive.
So, like the whetstone, many men are wont
To sharpen others, when themselves are blunt."

Anyone who has any kind of opinion fucking disgusts me.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Grimstone » Wed May 11, 2016 8:00 pm

You smell like trash, may I take you out?
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"The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart."
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby BROWNRECLUSE » Fri May 13, 2016 5:26 pm

Screenshot_20160513-122006.jpg
Screenshot_20160513-122006.jpg (694.11 KiB) Viewed 10090 times
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Tesseracts wrote:In this age of falsehoods and lies, it's comforting to know some people are genuinely idiots.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Matthew Notch » Mon May 16, 2016 7:04 pm

Seen on Jacopo's Twitter:

Girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest
  • 13

It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Bert » Thu May 19, 2016 8:21 pm

Hey girl, is your name Sandy Hook?

Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids inside you.
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"Condoms are a sign of a bad relationship." -Kate

"We have been here a while. We are not clean people." -Typical Michael
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Malfeasinator » Sat May 28, 2016 9:42 am

(Stolen from Action Figure Therapy) "Hey did you queef? Cause you just blew me away."'

Another bad one, used in real life on my aunt back in the day (one of those funny family stories), by a guy with a real country accent: "I bet you can shuck some corn!"
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