Awkward chat up lines

The Web's foremost Forum Games place. Role Playing Games. Whimsy; here we let encourage you to run around with scissors.
Forum rules
The Web's foremost Forum Games place.

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby NathanLoiselle » Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:29 pm

So. Have you ever wanted to marry an axe murderer?
  • 7

User avatar
NathanLoiselle
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 4484
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 3:49 am
Location: You'll Never Know!
Show rep

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Delta Jim » Tue Jun 09, 2015 4:52 am

Hey baby, I'm not a weatherman, but I predict that you can expect several inches tonight. ;)
  • 17

User avatar
Delta Jim
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 1873
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:59 pm
Location: Illinois
Show rep
Title: Not Very Notable

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Jack Road » Wed Jul 08, 2015 7:00 pm

I lost my virginity, can I have yours?
  • 17

Jack Road
TCS Guerilla
 
Posts: 3507
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2014 8:38 pm
Show rep

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Delta Jim » Wed Jul 08, 2015 7:12 pm

Jack Road wrote:I lost my virginity, can I have yours?


Or to flip it around:

"You look like you lost your virginity, do you want mine? I don't need it anymore."
  • 16

User avatar
Delta Jim
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 1873
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:59 pm
Location: Illinois
Show rep
Title: Not Very Notable

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Nullbert » Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:47 pm

Hey, girl guess what I've got that's longer than six inches and is an anagram of SENIP.

Yeah, it's my spine.
  • 21

User avatar
Nullbert
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1545
Joined: Mon May 06, 2013 5:32 pm
Location: The Bermuda Triangle
Show rep
Title: British Bastard

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby iMURDAu » Sun Jul 19, 2015 12:19 am

Not sure if its been said but here goes...

I heard that you don't give a fuck. Would you be interested in taking one from me then?
  • 14

“This is going to become a bad meme,” Todd observed.
User avatar
iMURDAu
TCS Chomper
TCS Chomper
 
Posts: 6752
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:08 am
Location: twitch.tv/beakstore
Show rep
Title: King of Fuh

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Anglerphobe » Sun Jul 19, 2015 12:41 am

Would you be offended if I told you that you seem to have a sufficient combination of physical attractiveness and low self esteem to be worth the bare minimum effort required to get you to sleep with me?
  • 16

"Tusser, they tell me, when thou wert alive,
Thou, teaching thrift, thyselfe couldst never thrive.
So, like the whetstone, many men are wont
To sharpen others, when themselves are blunt."

Anyone who has any kind of opinion fucking disgusts me.
User avatar
Anglerphobe
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 2160
Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2015 6:03 pm
Show rep
Title: round Earth shill

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby JamishT » Sun Jul 19, 2015 2:23 am

Hey girl, I don't want to just sleep with you. I just want to have sex with you.
  • 12

JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
User avatar
JamishT
TCS ModerBlobber
TCS ModerBlobber
 
Posts: 5579
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 4:31 pm
Location: KC, MO, AMERICA
Show rep
Title: The Wannabe Adult

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby TwoSheds » Sun Jul 19, 2015 2:29 am

Hey girl, I've got a terrible rash on my dingle; it's all red and inflamed. Doc said I should put lotion on it - how would you like to lend me a hand?
  • 14

Fire up the tulley toggle.
User avatar
TwoSheds
TCS Regular
TCS Regular
 
Posts: 281
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2015 2:52 pm
Location: Quebec
Show rep
Title: Maestro

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Delta Jim » Fri Aug 07, 2015 6:22 am

Hey babe, let's go back to my place and make a nature documentary on the mating habits of the barfly.

... Oh, this camera crew following me? Don't worry, they're only filming the courtship ritual. They're leaving once we get back to my place.
  • 12

User avatar
Delta Jim
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 1873
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:59 pm
Location: Illinois
Show rep
Title: Not Very Notable

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby DanteHoratio » Fri Aug 07, 2015 11:23 am

Hello, I'm Dante. I was wondering if you would be willing to go out on a date with me? Oh, you will? Awesome! Let me just thank Cthulhu! asfdkjghrhuhgthglghlkgbnkltjboiytrhdfklhtfhhttfjhflkjytdyhjajfhguruyghhlnk!!!!!!!!
  • 12

"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself." -Mark Twain

"I couldn't live a week without a private library - indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess." -HP Lovecraft
User avatar
DanteHoratio
TCS Sithlord
TCS Sithlord
 
Posts: 547
Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 9:17 pm
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Show rep
Title: Let's get dangerous

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Matthew Notch » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:50 am

Your eyes are like the stars. I could gaze into them all night. The way they shine, and twinkle. The way they imply whole other worlds millions of miles away. I would love to take a closer look at them. By the way, I have a huge telescope.
  • 11

It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
User avatar
Matthew Notch
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 4950
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2013 11:48 am
Location: The ICT
Show rep
Title: The Last Finisher

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Phighter » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:50 am

"Hey girl, do you want to see my telescope?"
  • 6

User avatar
Phighter
TCS Regular
TCS Regular
 
Posts: 435
Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 12:42 am
Show rep
Title: King of Puns

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Jack Road » Sun Aug 09, 2015 8:58 am

Hey, wanna go out sometime?
*snort* When pigs fly!
Wait, are you telling me you've never been on a plane before?
  • 12

Jack Road
TCS Guerilla
 
Posts: 3507
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2014 8:38 pm
Show rep

Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Australia » Sun Aug 23, 2015 5:02 pm

Sex with me is like winning limbo. You set a low bar but you'll still manage to go beneath it.

Image
  • 15

YamI JamesT Eyebrows Edgar Logan Eric Michael Tess Sunny Notch Kate Jamish Lao Carp Moo FaceCitizen Aquila Nisi Qinglong Chaise Nullbert NotCIAagent JackRoad Delta MURDA Bert Czar Ambi JulyJack Adric Marcuse SilverMaple Nudge 52xMax Damiana Doma Pumpkin Toy Fry Andro Carrie Snarky Royal RLG Pikajew Windy skooma Kleiner Java Sellers Piter Gisarmbards Grimstone Recluse Esteban Syrup Krashlia Twistappel MacReady Funkotron mcfooty Pseudoman Creepy Kivutar nerd Ladki Jim Youghurt satan GL Angler
Scari
User avatar
Australia
Resident Dickhead
Resident Dickhead
 
Posts: 4227
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Take a wild guess
Show rep
Title: Kentucky Fried Colonel

PreviousNext

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 16 guests

cron