TCS Secret Santa

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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby Sheepman » Tue Dec 24, 2013 10:23 pm

If necessary, I think I could be up for throwing together a last second gift.
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sunglasses wrote:Additionally, I'd like to add that I don't recommend leaving small children alone with Aviel. They may come back crying after being shown the odds that they were going to die horribly in the next 70 years.

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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Tue Dec 24, 2013 11:36 pm

You should have a PM from me, Sheepman.

To get the ball rolling on the thanks, I'd like to show you all this ambigram I got from my own, most unexpected Secret Santa!

Image

Depending on whether your head is upside down or the right way up - and this being Christmas Eve and knowing you lot, it could be either - it's either my husband's name or mine. Complete awesomeness!

Please share your own gifts and thank your Santa on the thread. I've been lucky enough to see all the gifts in advance, and I'm blown away by your creativity and generosity. Happy Christmas to the lot of you. My life would be a much poorer place without my TCS family in it.

Edit: If you've not had your gift yet, don't despair - there are a couple that will be sent tomorrow. Everyone will have a Secret Santa present. There are also three of us participating as "late adopters" and swapping gifts for the new year.

Second edit: A couple of you might get two pressies, because I'm an anxious Santa and would rather some people have two presents than anyone has none.
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby Cordslash » Tue Dec 24, 2013 11:54 pm

Someone sent me an awesome collage full of the best boobs and tits. And so tastefully done!
To whomever sent it: thank you thank you! You know me so well....

TCS is the best place to be. I love you guys so much!

A very merry Christmas to all. May you enjoy this day and be surrounded by love. You too Timmy! (we have a Timmy don't we? If not we should get one).
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*The artist formerly known as CmdrVimes*


Hancock, John.
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:04 am

Happy Christmas, Vimes. I love you to pieces.
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby Overlord Moo » Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:49 am

I got a picture of a candy cow and an extremely well done "Ode to Cows" poem. Blessings upon whoever gave me this wonderful gift and Merry Christmas to everyone else!
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6:54 Bert: Moo is so cool he wishes he could be someone else just so he could better understand what it is like to live in a world with Overlord Moo in it
9:46:06 PM GG If Moo goes oh my I know it means bad
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby Australia » Wed Dec 25, 2013 1:18 am

I was sent on a virtual Choose Your Own Australia journey, with many unexpected horrific and comedic twists and turns of events, which was eerily similar to my own Christmas of '09.

Anyway, as a not-so-secret Santa, here's a bonus gift to the entire forum. A short poem I came up with myself and was definitely not just stolen from a well-known carol with a few parodical edits.

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through TCS
Not a member was posting
Not even a Tess
The threads were observed by the mods with care
As they daydreamed of having JamesT's facial hair.
The spambots were lurking, with a feeling of dread
As Majestic_12[bot] readied his sled
For it turns out he was Santa this entire time
And was only watching us so closely to determine what gifts would be yours or mine
My rhythm and sense are now completely off
So I'll stop now
But before I head to lunch to go and get drunk,
Merry Christmas to all, hope you eat tons of junk!

Don't worry, I put more effort into my actual Secret Santa gift. Thanks to my gifter and to Orange for her orangisation (It's an anargam) of the event.
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YamI JamesT Eyebrows Edgar Logan Eric Michael Tess Sunny Notch Kate Jamish Lao Carp Moo FaceCitizen Aquila Nisi Qinglong Chaise Nullbert NotCIAagent JackRoad Delta MURDA Bert Czar Ambi JulyJack Adric Marcuse SilverMaple Nudge 52xMax Damiana Doma Pumpkin Toy Fry Andro Carrie Snarky Royal RLG Pikajew Windy skooma Kleiner Java Sellers Piter Gisarmbards Grimstone Recluse Esteban Syrup Krashlia Twistappel MacReady Funkotron mcfooty Pseudoman Creepy Kivutar nerd Ladki Jim Youghurt satan GL Angler
Scari
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby CarrieVS » Wed Dec 25, 2013 1:41 am

You got your Secret Santa from the same person as me then, Orange, I guess.

ambigram.jpg
ambigram.jpg (5.96 KiB) Viewed 5060 times


Only I have no husband, so it's my cat's name and mine. And it's awesome.
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Wed Dec 25, 2013 1:55 am

That's amazing, Carrie. So clever. Poppy-Carrie, Carrie-Poppy. Of course now I know who it was, but I'll take it to my grave :-p

Note to everyone: I'll tell you who your Santa is if, and only if, your Santa is A-okay with it. Otherwise it's between me and said Santa.

And Australia and Carrie - I love you. Moo already knows ;-)
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby JamesT » Wed Dec 25, 2013 2:13 am

I got a story about my valiant battle against sanity and decency. It is almost completely accurate and as such, should be considered a historical document.

The Story of JamesT and the Cardboard Kid

JamesT, who stole the T from Mr T after a wrestling match that levelled the Grand Canyon, was sitting in his cardboard throne in his cardboard castle. He was reading the latest copy of Homeless Weekly, well, I say reading, but he just liked the pictures of clouds and the crosswords.
Anyway, JamesT was sitting in his cardboard fortress when his sidekick, the Cardboard Kid burst in. JamesT looked up, his beard twitching angrily at the disturbance.
"Holy carp, JamesT, your archenemy has just escaped from Tcsesca Prison!" exclaimed the Cardboard Kid.
JamesT looked blankly at his sidekick.
"I said..." he began, but JamesT's beard slapped him into silence without even moving. It was famous for spitting in the face of the laws of reality.
"Is this true, Cardboard Kid, has Sears Tower escaped from prison?" asked JamesT.
"Uh, Sears Tower was never in prison..." began Cardboard Kid, but JamesT's sunglasses flashed menacingly and he fell silent. "I was talking about Stinky Steve."
"How dare you insult my friends," said JamesT threateningly. "I don't insult your friend with the one eye and the third nostril."
"That was my mom!" cried Cardboard Kid.
James T punched his sidekick away, glaring at the screens he'd painted onto the walls. One showed a kickass explosion with a T-rex riding a motorcycle over a crowd of Jesuses. He gasped in shock. It was true: this archenemy he'd never heard of was on the loose.
In seconds, somehow, JamesT, dressed in his finest vomit encrusted suit of cardboard was standing in front of a fat man who could only be Stinky Steve.
"JamesT, my archenemy," growled Stinky Steve. "This will be a battle for the ages."
JamesT's sunglasses glinted. His beard quivered. The universe exploded in a fit of awesomeness and then reformed. Stinky Steve began to run, but then JamesT's beard began to wrap around him.
And then Stinky Steve exploded. The Cardboard Kid came sprinting over just as Mayor Hasselhoff awarded JamesT with the key to the city.
And so, Theodore Roosevelt, Batman, Darth Vader, Jules from Pulp Fiction, Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, Slash, Soren Bowie, the Dragonborn, Homer Simpson, Gandalf, the Doctor, the Ghostbusters, Elvis Presley, John Wayne, Arnold Schwarzenegger, some guy's lawyer and JamesT rode off into the sunset on a T-rex made of beer cans and LSD. And they did rock on into the night, whilst the Cardboard Kid sat outside with orders to clean up the mounds of T-rex dung that had accumulated over the hours.
Thus concludes the story of Christmas and as Hulk Hogan once told me: "Who the fuck are you?" More importantly though, this concludes the story of JamesT, bitches. And that's why you should never insult a hobo.

Merry Christmas.
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby NudgeNudge » Wed Dec 25, 2013 2:38 am

I didn't join Secret Santa because I thought I wasn't going to make it, with exams and stuff.

You can't imagine how much I regret not joining. You're all wonderful, kind, creative people and I wish you the best Christmas ever.
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Wed Dec 25, 2013 2:49 am

Nudge, I love you very dearly. We all do. Happy Christmas, my darling <3
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby gregfrankenstein » Wed Dec 25, 2013 3:01 am

Thanks, secret Santam'n.

What does Fox say?

" Fox"
Daily mail goes immigrants, buzzfeed goes gifs
cracked goes dicks, and yahoo commenters goes bigoted rant.
tumblr goes white knights, facebook goes like. Stormfront goes jews, and 4chan goes trollz.
Twitter goes tweet and deviant art goes furry, and reddit goes upvote
But there's one sound that no one knows...
WHAT DOES FOX SAY?

Islaaaaaam-Islaaaaaaam!
Democraaaaaaats-Democraaaaaaats!
Sociaaaaalisssst-Sociaaaaalisssst!
WHAT DOES FOX SAY?
Obaaaaaamaaaaaamaaaaaa!
Obaaaaaamaaaaaaamaaaaa!
Obaaaaaamaaaaamaaaaaaa!
WHAT DOES FOX SAY?
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
WHAT DOES FOX SAY?
Waaaar-ooooon-chrrrissstmmmas!
Waaaar-ooooon-chrrrissstmmmas!
Waaaar-ooooon-chrrrissstmmmas!
WHAT DOES FOX SAY?

Newscasters going to your screen spewing biased news
Sometimes telling us news that are lies
Interviewing crackpots and victim blaming
But if you meet a friendly republican, will you communicate by caaaaaaan caaaaaaaan
How will you speak to that reeeeppppubbblllicccaaan? Reeeeppppubbblllicccaaan?
WHAT DOES FOX SAY?!

Feeeeemmmmmiiiinniiiisssssttttt!
Feeeeemmmmmiiiinniiiisssssttttt!
Feeeeemmmmmiiiinniiiisssssttttt!
WHAT DOES FOX SAY?
ObaaaaaaaammmmmaaaaCccccare!
ObaaaaaaaammmmmaaaaCccccare!
ObaaaaaaaammmmmaaaaCccccare!
WHAT DOES FOX SAY?
Meeeeeeeexxxxxxxiiiiccccaaannssss!
Meeeeeeeexxxxxxxiiiiccccaaannssss!
Meeeeeeeexxxxxxxiiiiccccaaannssss!
WHAT DOES FOX SAY?
Taaaaaakkkkkinnnngggooooourrrjooobbbs!
Taaaaaaakkkkkinnnnggooouurrwwwwoommmeen!
WHAT DOES FOX SAY?!

The secret of fox news, ancient mystery.
Somewhere deep in the Rupert empire, I know you're hiding.
What is your sound? Will we ever know?
Will always be a mystery what do you say?

You're my favourite to hate hiding in the woods.
What is your sound? (Sociaaaaalisssst-Sociaaaaalisssst!)
Will we ever know? (Sociaaaaalisssst-Sociaaaaalisssst!)
I want to, I want to, I want to know! (Sociaaaaalisssst-Sociaaaaalisssst!)
(Sociaaaaalisssst-Sociaaaaalisssst!)


For some odd reason, it took me a good minute or two to get this. "Why is this meek fox so bigoted? Who's Rupert?" Then it hit me and I had a hoot and a half.

I also received this adorable photo:

Image

I'm pretty sure I'm the one on the left. What, you thought I was born with this surname?

Secrets being secret and all, thanks all around, TCSers. Even you with the face.
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby Edgar Cabrera » Wed Dec 25, 2013 3:04 am

I got a Humble Bundle, given my liking for role-playing games in the "Until Someone Loses an Eye" forum. My most sincere thanks to whoever gave me this wonderful gift.

Happy Christmas, lovely Orange, for this wonderful idea, and to all of you too, having you in my life has been one of the most pleasant experiences of my life.
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby DamianaRaven » Wed Dec 25, 2013 3:04 am

My gift was prefaced with a gracious bit of modesty that can only be described as a damnable LIE! "No great artist," my ass! Amateur hobbyists couldn't even imagine the sort of detail involved in this, much less bring it to life. Perhaps it's my overactive imagination, but it seems as if this fella is thinking, "don't make me come down from here." Thank you, Talented One!

Spoiler: show
Image
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Re: TCS Secret Santa

Postby sunglasses » Wed Dec 25, 2013 3:12 am

My gift was a lovely story but I TOTALLY KNOW IT WAS FROM CARRIE because of the title. Something something panther orgy.
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