New Content Guidelines

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New Content Guidelines

Postby IamNotCreepy » Sun Apr 01, 2018 8:45 pm

As many of you no doubt have noticed, the world has been changing around us. People are no longer nice to each other, and society has been more divided than ever.

Worst of all, the internet has become the dumping grounds for all of the world's filth. Racy images, foul language, and moral turpitude are rampant.

So keeping that in mind, and in honor of the Easter holiday, where our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ died for our sins and came back to life, we are henceforth instituting the following content guidelines:

    1. No profanity or suggestive language
    2. No references to drugs, alcohol, or sexual immorality
    3. No posting music with unwholesome lyrics -- good Christian acts like DC Talk and Michael W. Smith are ok, though
    4. Most of all, just be nice to each other. That means no making fun of Bert's mom, no matter how much of a filthy harlot she is -- after all, it does say in the Bible to "honor thy father and mother"

We know there may be some pushback on this, but please know this is for the good of the forum. We appreciate your compliance with these measures, and please feel free to inquire here with any questions on the new rules. I, and the rest of the staff will be more than happy to address your concerns.

Thank you.
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby cmsellers » Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:02 pm

The fuck? How am I supposed to give Bert's Mom her Mother's Day present now?

It's a romantic poem
There once was a gal from Virginia.
I asked her "Can I put it in ya?"
She answered "Of course,"
"When I'm done with this horse."
But you saw that coming now, dinya?
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:11 pm

H*ck.
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby JamishT » Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:17 pm

cmsellers wrote:The fuck? How am I supposed to give Bert's Mom her Mother's Day present now?

It's a romantic poem
There once was a gal from Virginia.
I asked her "Can I put it in ya?"
She answered "Of course,"
"When I'm done with this horse."
But you saw that coming now, dinya?



How about you watch your tone?
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby Tesseracts » Sun Apr 01, 2018 11:38 pm

1 like = 1 amen
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby Tesseracts » Mon Apr 02, 2018 12:09 am

I see nobody has repped my post. If you don't do it within the next 12 hours you're banned.
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby NathanLoiselle » Mon Apr 02, 2018 12:28 am

Hey! Where'd the rep go?
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby NisiOptimum » Mon Apr 02, 2018 12:44 am

I am so pleased to see this thread. I actually stopped posting on this site because of all the profanity and suggestive language. Every single day 40 to 50 people were private messaging me saying how I had sex with balloon animals for loose change, or claiming they'd seen me on the street, gargling cat urine for for a bus of elderly Slovakian sex tourists. "User NisiOptimum will sensually lick public payphones if you throw him breadcrumbs like a duck" is still the most commented thread on this site, even though those charges were dropped on appeal. And sure I found it funny at first when people photoshopped my head on that statue of Saddam Hussein getting pulled down and claimed it was me paying 90 Iraqis to autoerotically asphyxiate me. But ultimately just got sick of all the disgusting innuendo and I'm very happy with the new direction this site is taking.

Unless...wait is this an April Fool's Joke?! YOU MO [user has been banned for explicit language]
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby iMURDAu » Mon Apr 02, 2018 1:54 pm

I found two Toys R Us gift cards at work the other day after I thought we trashed all of them. They can't be activated because the chain is closing and they aren't issuing gift cards. So I brought them home.

Since I was home alone before I left for work yesterday I went ahead and left them sitting at my son's place at the dining room table. I sent a pic to my wife to let her know it was an April Fools Joke. Well... he cried when he found out it was a joke. I can't blame him. I feel bad because I don't want to make my child cry. But it was funny except for that. He sees the humor in it after the fact.

It's his fault, he started it by telling me the cat puked on the floor when there wasn't any. But I got him again. When I called home before he went to bed I told him the Ravens quarterback got traded to the Dolphins for a couple of draft picks and he fell for it. Overall the day taught him a valuable lesson: you gotta make your bullshit believable.

And whose fault is it that what NisiOptimum did to get those charges dropped is more interesting than licking payphones? But that Mr. Krabs cosplay was on point, just sayin.
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“This is going to become a bad meme,” Todd observed.
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby DoglovingJim » Mon Apr 02, 2018 3:08 pm

IamNotCreepy wrote:As many of you no doubt have noticed, the world has been changing around us. People are no longer nice to each other, and society has been more divided than ever.

Worst of all, the internet has become the dumping grounds for all of the world's filth. Racy images, foul language, and moral turpitude are rampant.

So keeping that in mind, and in honor of the Easter holiday, where our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ died for our sins and came back to life, we are henceforth instituting the following content guidelines:

    1. No profanity or suggestive language
    2. No references to drugs, alcohol, or sexual immorality
    3. No posting music with unwholesome lyrics -- good Christian acts like DC Talk and Michael W. Smith are ok, though
    4. Most of all, just be nice to each other. That means no making fun of Bert's mom, no matter how much of a filthy harlot she is -- after all, it does say in the Bible to "honor thy father and mother"

We know there may be some pushback on this, but please know this is for the good of the forum. We appreciate your compliance with these measures, and please feel free to inquire here with any questions on the new rules. I, and the rest of the staff will be more than happy to address your concerns.

Thank you.

Funniest part is that I actually wouldn't mind all of this.
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Cracked.com wrote:Initially, his interest in animals was "primarily a sexual attraction," but as he grew older, he also "developed the emotional attraction." We guess we could call what Jim does ... dog-lovin'
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby Tesseracts » Tue Apr 03, 2018 6:26 am

I unlocked this so you can upvote us for being so bamboozling. For info on how we came up with this idea click here.
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby Ladki96 » Tue Apr 03, 2018 9:05 am

man you guys are the worst :v I'm leaving this forum <.< Here are the papers:

phpBB [video]
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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby Australia » Tue Apr 03, 2018 11:33 am

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Re: New Content Guidelines

Postby iMURDAu » Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:32 pm

I scrolled down, there was no way to thumb a post. I saw a post in which Tesseracts remarked that rep is unlocked. I scrolled up, there was the normal rep system. I thumbed every post it would let me.

My friends, I ask you do the same. Thumb every post, climb every hill with childish joy, stomp in the puddles life puts in your way, show your genitals to the face of adversity! Because...
Spoiler: show
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And...

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