Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

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Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby DamianaRaven » Tue Jul 21, 2015 10:38 am

So here's what happened. Pop singer Ariana Grande was caught on surveillance video, licking a bunch of doughnuts that were later sold to other people. (Why the shop had the doughnuts sitting out for people to fuck with is beyond me.) When confronted about her disgusting behavior, part of her bullshit "apology" included the following:

"As an advocate for healthy eating, food is very important to me and I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things without giving any thought to the consequences that it has on our health and society as a whole," she continued. "The fact that the United States has the highest child obesity rate in the world frustrates me. We need to do more to educate ourselves and our children about the dangers of overeating and the poison that we put into our bodies. We need to demand more from our food industry. However I should have known better in how I expressed myself; and with my new responsibility to others as a public figure I will strive to be better."


I wonder if her ass is jealous about all the shit coming out of her head. Notice how she didn't "advocate" for her friend to choose a healthier snack than doughnuts, nor did she consider that having a stranger's saliva all over your food is pretty much the antithesis of "healthy."
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby Windy » Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:20 am

I know certain people who would still eat those donuts...
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby DamianaRaven » Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:22 am

I imagine there are at least a handful of people who'd have paid extra for them because they were licked by a celebrity. People are gross.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby Absentia » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:04 pm

I mean, as long as I'm fairly confident that she doesn't have a serious communicable disease, I'd still eat those donuts. Saliva isn't like blood; it doesn't kill you to mix yours with someone else's.

My question is, what the flying fuck does surreptitiously licking donuts have to do with fighting obesity? It's like getting caught shoplifting and saying you just hate ISIS so much that you had to steal that shirt. It does not compute.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby DamianaRaven » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:22 pm

Absentia wrote:I mean, as long as I'm fairly confident that she doesn't have a serious communicable disease, I'd still eat those donuts. Saliva isn't like blood; it doesn't kill you to mix yours with someone else's.


Just because it won't kill you doesn't mean it's not fucking gross. I don't want any part of that woman's body inside any part of mine.

My question is, what the flying fuck does surreptitiously licking donuts have to do with fighting obesity? It's like getting caught shoplifting and saying you just hate ISIS so much that you had to steal that shirt. It does not compute.


Blaming fat people is kind of a fad these days. In addition to Ms. Grande's appalling manners, we're also responsible for global warming, the high cost of health care, and world hunger. Funny how her advocacy for healthy eating doesn't keep her from letting Pepsi sponsor her album launch.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby Absentia » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:30 pm

DamianaRaven wrote:Just because it won't kill you doesn't mean it's not fucking gross. I don't want any part of that woman's body inside any part of mine.


I'll admit to being largely immune to things other people find gross. I like to imagine I'm part Vulcan.

Blaming fat people is kind of a fad these days. In addition to Ms. Grande's appalling manners, we're also responsible for global warming, the high cost of health care, and world hunger.


Sure, but usually even the wildest claim has some kind of tortured logic behind it. This is a total non sequitur.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby DamianaRaven » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:41 pm

Absentia wrote:I'll admit to being largely immune to things other people find gross. I like to imagine I'm part Vulcan.


I like to think a Vulcan would be fucking appalled at the lack of respect involved in her actions. It's not the presence of her saliva that disgusts me so much as the mean-spirited willingness to secretly contaminate other people's food. If I'd been one of the people to eat the slobbery doughnuts, I wouldn't be angry because "ew, spit." I'd be angry because now that bitch is part of me - her saliva is inside my body, with the basic elements therein used to build and repair my own muscles.

Sure, but usually even the wildest claim has some kind of tortured logic behind it. This is a total non sequitur.


*shrugs amiably* I have no idea. It really was an ass-brained thing to say.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby Tesseracts » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:42 pm

It sounds like she really hates fat people. I hope she gets charged with biological terrorism.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby gisambards » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:43 pm

DamianaRaven wrote:Blaming fat people is kind of a fad these days. In addition to Ms. Grande's appalling manners, we're also responsible for global warming, the high cost of health care, and world hunger.


I disagree with Grande's actions, and she's clearly being hypocritical given her corporate sponsors, but you shouldn't see acknowledging obesity is an issue as blaming fat people, in particular when it comes to healthcare costs. Large amounts of obesity does put extra strain on healthcare services, because obese people are usually more unhealthy than people with normal BMIs. Obesity is an issue, and it's not wrong to say that some of the responsibility (not all, but some) of tackling obesity does rest with the obese individual.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby DamianaRaven » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:53 pm

gisambards wrote:Obesity is an issue, and it's not wrong to say that some of the responsibility (not all, but some) of tackling obesity does rest with the obese individual.


It is when that's not the subject being discussed. This is no doubt exactly why Ms. Grande took the shot she did, in the hopes that it would distract people into discussing how disgusting and immoral and irresponsible it is to be fat rather than what the fuck is wrong with this bitch.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby Marcuse » Tue Jul 21, 2015 1:15 pm

Saliva isn't like blood; it doesn't kill you to mix yours with someone else's.


Clinically, it's treated the same. I work in dentistry and blood or saliva contamination are sufficient reasons to dispose of something as clinical waste. It's not somehow okay to contaminate people's food merely because it probably won't kill you. You need to be careful with bodily fluids no matter the risk because that risk cannot be controlled, especially where the recipient is unaware that risk exists. It's reprehensible.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby sunglasses » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:10 pm

Just a clarification. She licked two donuts and spit on two. So four total.

The tray was not supposed to be on the counter.

It sounds like, to me, that after she got busted she made something up.

The Federalist agrees with me on this point.

No one is fooled by your pretend intentions. We know you weren’t thinking of the childhood obesity epidemic when you decided to lick a donut and not pay for it. Let’s be honest, you definitely weren’t thinking of the children when you tongued your boyfriend in public, either.

Like a shameless child who touches art with their grimy hands in an museum gallery, you licked those donuts and didn’t even say sorry. I mean, you could’ve at least remembered to apologize for not purchasing the donuts that now, unfortunately, contain traces of your saliva. Better yet, you could’ve made up a story about how putting your nasty tongue all over those fatty rings of dough would keep children away from them.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby Australia » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:30 pm

Marcuse wrote:You need to be careful with bodily fluids no matter the risk because that risk cannot be controlled, especially where the recipient is unaware that risk exists. It's reprehensible.


So you're saying I should stop sneezing in your fridge?

I'd still rather ingest Ariana's saliva than listen to her sing.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby aBagofYoughurt » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:31 pm

Similarly, I lick people's pants to protest harsh working conditions in factories where said clothing is made.
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Re: Ariana Grande licks your doughnuts because kids are fat.

Postby Aquila89 » Tue Jul 21, 2015 3:34 pm

Since then, she also apologized for her apology

I feel like the apology I posted, I kind of missed the opportunity to sincerely apologize and express how I was feeling because I was too busy preaching about my issues with the food industry which is like, not relative."


and again for her actions.

I say let's move on. Ultimately, this was just a bizarre form of vandalism, something young people are prone to.
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