It is an open secret that all dictators aspire to be realist artists, and all realist artists aspire to be dictators. From Hitler to Stalin to George W. Bush, the trend is clear.
But what does that say of the realist artist who runs this site, the so-called "Tesseracts"? The shocking truth is that she shares far more with Hitler than just realist art, vegetarianism, and a disturbing fondness for dogs.
Have you noticed that most members of our site no longer post? From OrangeEyebrows to ButtChocolate to RevolvingRoyal, what has happened to the vast majority of TCS?
I will tell you what happened: (((Tesseracts))) has been using them to satisfy her insatiable cravings for Pokemon and realist art.
Using her ability to see IP addresses, «««Tesseracts»»» has been hiding in TCS member's homes, trapping them in tiny balls, and them making them fight to the death in real-life Pokemon battles.
Then, when they are good-and-dead she fed their flesh to her hounds, tanned their skins for canvases, and ground up their bones to use in paints.
As I write this, I fear for my life, and plan to take refuge in the Ecuadorian embassy, where I fear my internet will be cut off. I shall suffer a fate worse than death, but still better than letting her catch me.
But there is still time to save the rest of you. Run, run far away from this website before you too fall victim to the twisted depravity of our leader.