"I may have gone too far in a few places."
- George Lucas, addressing his producers, upon first viewing
the final cut of 'Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace'
the final cut of 'Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace'
Who the hell knew a movie could develop pacing issues in under ten minutes?
Alright, so I know it's a bad sign when the first thing the director does when introducing his work is jumping to his own defense, but I'm going to do it anyway. It is traditionally a group project, and I had no partner(s). Writing, Directing, Camerawork, and Editing were all on me, which is why, you'll notice, my noble visage does not appear in the film itself.
Now, not to let myself completely off the hook here, doing this project by yourself is in fact very doable. One of my friends and class-mates who appears in the film as a groovy and hip-with-the-youth character, made a profound and well-crafted love story about gay zombies in their backyard, and I believe received an A.
I think the root of my trouble was the script I wrote. Much like the Phantom Menace, it was done in one draft and no one was there to question it. The main fact that I did not appreciate at the time was that the concept was a bit too time and personnel intensive for what I had available.
My idea for the story was a parody of the whole "fantasy = satanism" thing that's still popular with a few right wing church groups, and those really terrible "cautionary tale" movies they pump out every few years. I basically set out to do "Reefer Madness" for nerd stuff.
An innocent, upstanding, white(bread), protestant youth, is seduced into the twisted world of "Dungeon's and Dragons" by a cabal of nerds (servants of Lucifer), and pays the ultimate price...HIS SOUL! dah Dah DAAAAAH!
Now, I was the co-founder of the school's Dungeons and Dragons club, and the at-the-time co presidents of said club play Lyle and Mervis. I naively hoped that I could skip having to write the dialogue for the scenes in which the characters actualy play the game itself, banking on their experience and improv ability. That was a misjudgment.
I didn't have a camera of my own and had to borrow a class one, which could not leave the grounds and had to be returned by the end of the school day. Getting actors together in the same place at the same time, during the school day, in a vacant classroom, was a logistical nightmare. Pretty much every take you see in there was the only take for each shot I had gotten in which someone hadn't flubbed their line. The death scene at the end was literally the last thing we shot, like ten minutes before the bell rang on the last day I had to shoot.
I think that covers everything. There's no music, we weren't allowed to include any unless we wrote and produced it ourselves. I actually lost the SD card with half the footage on it before I could turn it in, so I got a zero for this, for the record. I found it again in the back pocket of a ripped pair of trousers a few months later, and just this week, cobbled together the finished project.
Again, I don't appear in the film myself, other than as the jackass who can't keep his hands steady while holding the camera. Shoutout to my friends and acquaintances who stood for all these shenanigans and made this unholy mess possible.
EDIT: Shitfire I've just realized I forgot to credit someone.
The Corpse .................................................... Joseph Collins