Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

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Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:24 pm

I believe we have a haiku thread but not a limerick thread. Limericks are a bit of a compulsion with me, so I’d like to offer my services. Leave me a message telling me how to pronounce your username, and I’ll limerick you! Or leave me a prompt. Alternatively, fill someone else’s prompt with a lovely lyrical limerick and leave a prompt for the next person.

In closing, allow me to leave you with my favourite limerick of all time. I don’t know who wrote it or why it makes me laugh so much, but it does.

There once was a man from Tralee,
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp.
When asked if it hurt,
He replied, “Not a bit!
“It can do it again if it likes!”
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A society without redemption would damn us all ~ Kate
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby BobTheZombie » Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:56 pm

From my experiences in Tralee, I think the last line would probably be filled with more expletives. There is a kind of haiku thread under "Dealin' with drugs" but the title is a bit misleading.
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby NisiOptimum » Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:08 pm

There once was a man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Who drank so much wine he fell asleep in a trough
When he awoke with a moan
and asked how to get home
They just gave him a pill for his cough
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Fri Jun 07, 2013 8:15 pm

Have all the thumbs. And leave a prompt!
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby NisiOptimum » Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:32 am

Oops sorry.

There once was a member of The Comment Section
Who viewed the whole site with so much affection
That after going a day
Without having his say
He cursed his internet connection.

The prompt is- God dammit Rebo
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby Robert » Sat Jun 08, 2013 8:16 am

There once was a man from Tennessee,
Whose humor was so morbid, so penisy,
That when one shouted „God dammit Rebo“,
The whole site echoed: „Ditto!“, „Ditto!“,
"We love you, but you make us feel queasy".

Prompt: You can do me, also I give you permission to use my name for limerick.
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby gregfrankenstein » Sat Jun 08, 2013 8:22 am

There once was a man on the forum
Whose wit would make others adore 'im
He gathered some thumbs
And rhymed words with thumbs
In hopes that he some day could whore 'em

Hint hint.
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby Robert » Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:11 am

There once was a man from Slovakia,
He was worse than cars by Kia,
His retarded limericks,
Sucked not one but a bag of dicks,
He blames it on his brains diarrhea.
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby Cullenmcpimpin » Sat Jun 08, 2013 7:59 pm

There once was a boy from Mass
Who spent all school staring at ass
but since he got none
all that time looking a bum
just meant he never passed one class.

prompt: a black KKK member.
  • 2

OrangeEyebrows wrote:Our forum-mate Cullenmcpimpin
Left the ladies all lovelorn and limpin'.
His formidable size
Left the rest of the guys
To weep at their annual wimp-in.
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Sat Jun 15, 2013 3:32 am

I'm bored and require people to ask me to limerick them.

Black KKK member. Er...how to do this tastefully?
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby misterhistorian » Sat Jun 15, 2013 4:28 pm

Once existed a comment section
undergoing a hygiene inspection.
As the inspector marked 'fail',
he exclaimed with a wail,
'I think I've caught some kind of infection!'

...

The users were shocked and abhorred,
this was the place that they loved and adored!
They decided they were willing
as a group, to kill him
and end their troubles once and for all.

...

The felonious deed was achieved
and as a group, once more they agreed
under fear of death,
to speak not a breath
- ah, crap. I think they're coming for me!

Limerick stories!
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Typical Michael wrote:You stay out of this, chair.
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby Tablo » Sat Jun 15, 2013 5:14 pm

OrangeEyebrows wrote:I'm bored and require people to ask me to limerick them.

Black KKK member. Er...how to do this tastefully?

I WILL DO IT,FOR IT IS MY DUTY.This i believe is what i was made for.
*Salutes*
There once was a man from kentucky
who thought black men were like turkey
when he was kkk he said it then
Not knowing he was one of the black men
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If actually crazy
You're better off turning to drink)

My therapy thread
Nothing to see here keep moving ,you signature looking looker.
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby Overlord Moo » Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:38 am

There once was a man named Paul
Who had a great bear in his hall
He pushed and he shoved
But his taste it did love
And friends are now bearing his pall.
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6:54 Bert: Moo is so cool he wishes he could be someone else just so he could better understand what it is like to live in a world with Overlord Moo in it
9:46:06 PM GG If Moo goes oh my I know it means bad
<Strant> wig+wonderbra+Strant=Deeno
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby sunglasses » Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:54 am

Ok, this was actually in a book but I love it so I'm repeating it.


There once was a lady from Arden
Who wend down on a gent in a garden
He said, "I don't know
How you swallow the blow"
And she replied *gulp* "I beg pardon?"
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Re: Lots of lush and lascivious limericks

Postby Pedgerow » Thu Nov 22, 2018 12:34 am

I'm so glad that you have a thread
For the limericks formed in my head!
But with no prompt to follow
This feels slightly hollow
I like rhyming about topics instead.

Please, someone, join me. I challenge you to write about juggling.
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