A Short Satirical Piece

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A Short Satirical Piece

Postby ironskoblin » Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:56 am

So, a little while ago I decided to write a short satirical piece. This was in the middle of the whole religious freedom controversy, so I decided to write about that.

Anyway, enjoy!

Spoiler: show
America is facing a discrimination problem. It isn’t racism. It isn’t sexism. It isn’t even homophobia. The group who is truly being discriminated against is American Christians.

Every day, millions of Christians across the country are forced to do something that is against their beliefs and against every moral fiber in their honest, hardworking bodies. They are forced to serve gay people. Everyone knows that gay people are the second incarnation of Satan himself. Jesus may have sat with the tax collector and the prostitute, but he never sat with the homo. He never sat with the homo because they are sinners, and everyone knows that Jesus hates sinners. He even said, “hate the sinner, not the sin”. The whole point of Christianity is that all sinners go to Hell, even if they were Christians. Can you imagine if we let everyone who believed in Jesus go to Heaven. We’d be letting sinners in the Kingdom of God!

Good, honest, hardworking, Christians used to be able to refuse service to anybody. But, as the years went on, more and more of their rights were stripped away. First, they weren’t allowed to keep slaves. Then, they weren’t allowed to lynch blacks. Now you’re telling me that we have to serve everyone that enters our business?! Blasphemy! Next you’re going to tell me that if we judge people, we will be judged; and that we need to forgive everybody?! This injustice cannot stand! So remember, next election make sure to vote for someone who stands up for the true discriminated group in America: The Christians.


Constructive criticism is welcome.
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Re: A Short Satirical Piece

Postby Tesseracts » Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:18 am

I hate gay people because they're way healthier than me from always being denied pizza and cake.
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Re: A Short Satirical Piece

Postby ironskoblin » Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:24 am

You should also hate us because we're having all the sex. Not just most of it, ALL of it.
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Re: A Short Satirical Piece

Postby NathanLoiselle » Mon Apr 20, 2015 3:10 am

I hate gay people because they have flawless skin and I don't.
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Re: A Short Satirical Piece

Postby caitlent » Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:30 pm

I could definitely picture that as a political ad skit.
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