LaChaise wrote:Sorry if I end up looking like a whiny little bitch complaining all the time, but this is the only place where I can be one without hurting the people around me.
Chaise, I know there can be no discord among the TCS staff, but I want you to know that you've violated the one rule of this thread (which you started, of course): No one here is a whiny little bitch, even if they are. This is the damn "rant thread". And I think I speak on behalf of everyone on this forum (literally, all 229 of us) when I say that you definitely AREN'T, and that what you are suffering through is one of the most legitimate afflictions of any of us, and merits any rant if that brings some measure of relief. You hang in there damn it, and if you can't care anymore remember that we're all here caring about it for you. Stay hard my friend.
@spicy: This is not in any way to excuse any bad behavior, but when your husband was under stress, in what fashion did the 'stress get less'? How did that become apparent? It's possible there's more to him than meets the eye. Speaking as a man with a healthy unhealthy amount of mental anguish at any given time, you can be exhausted just trying to handle the weighty responsibility of supporting a family--I'm not intending to start up a gender battle either, because the times they are a-changing and men are not all the same, but there is a tick in them that pushes them to provide. It's weird. And no matter how hard or not hard he works, that turmoil might still be baking under the surface--the fact that he refers to your maternity leave as a "mom-cation", while pretty douchey, could also be tinged with a spot of envy, even if the reality is that he's got it pretty easy.
I'll tell you this one: Men respond very well to that feeling of usefulness. This is why, when they do chores, if that's not reinforced positively, they may not perceive it as useful or valued, and might not volunteer to do it again. The last time he cooked dinner, how did you respond? How about the last time he took out the trash? I'm willing to bet there's a big difference in those reactions, and a big difference in his willingness to do either.
On the other hand, households just don't run with all the weight of maintaining it on one person, especially a young, new mother. Make sure you communicate this with him as well. And all that aside, don't feel like the responsibility to remedy your situation is all or even mostly with you--the only reason I'm putting all this down is because I'm not talking to him. At the end of the day, even when taking into account your soulmates and bosom children, you are the only one you can control at all.
And this is only me talking out of my ass, anyhow, so take it with a grain of salt if at all. Good luck!