The rant thread.

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Re: The rant thread.

Postby Matthew Notch » Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:58 am

LaChaise wrote:Sorry if I end up looking like a whiny little bitch complaining all the time, but this is the only place where I can be one without hurting the people around me.


Chaise, I know there can be no discord among the TCS staff, but I want you to know that you've violated the one rule of this thread (which you started, of course): No one here is a whiny little bitch, even if they are. This is the damn "rant thread". And I think I speak on behalf of everyone on this forum (literally, all 229 of us) when I say that you definitely AREN'T, and that what you are suffering through is one of the most legitimate afflictions of any of us, and merits any rant if that brings some measure of relief. You hang in there damn it, and if you can't care anymore remember that we're all here caring about it for you. Stay hard my friend.

@spicy: This is not in any way to excuse any bad behavior, but when your husband was under stress, in what fashion did the 'stress get less'? How did that become apparent? It's possible there's more to him than meets the eye. Speaking as a man with a healthy unhealthy amount of mental anguish at any given time, you can be exhausted just trying to handle the weighty responsibility of supporting a family--I'm not intending to start up a gender battle either, because the times they are a-changing and men are not all the same, but there is a tick in them that pushes them to provide. It's weird. And no matter how hard or not hard he works, that turmoil might still be baking under the surface--the fact that he refers to your maternity leave as a "mom-cation", while pretty douchey, could also be tinged with a spot of envy, even if the reality is that he's got it pretty easy.

I'll tell you this one: Men respond very well to that feeling of usefulness. This is why, when they do chores, if that's not reinforced positively, they may not perceive it as useful or valued, and might not volunteer to do it again. The last time he cooked dinner, how did you respond? How about the last time he took out the trash? I'm willing to bet there's a big difference in those reactions, and a big difference in his willingness to do either.

On the other hand, households just don't run with all the weight of maintaining it on one person, especially a young, new mother. Make sure you communicate this with him as well. And all that aside, don't feel like the responsibility to remedy your situation is all or even mostly with you--the only reason I'm putting all this down is because I'm not talking to him. At the end of the day, even when taking into account your soulmates and bosom children, you are the only one you can control at all.

And this is only me talking out of my ass, anyhow, so take it with a grain of salt if at all. Good luck!
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby AboveGL » Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:08 pm

spicytaco wrote:Just a quick comment then on to my rant. I hate the whole 'Stop worrying about it' and 'Just cheer up' shit. If I/we could don't you think I/we would? Also you shouldn't have to feel like there is something causing you anxiety just because you/society thinks you don't have anything to be anxious about. I've suffered from depression and for a really long time I denied it and just suffered because I didn't think there was anything for me to be depressed about and I tried to just 'cheer up'. Finally I realized/accepted that it could just be a chemical imbalance thing and there was no possible way for me to 'just get over it'. That was really the best thing ever. Then I was able to accept that there was something wrong that could be treated. (Okay that wasn't really a quick comment.)


But... what is it with insomniacs? I mean, I can sleep perfectly fine at night!!

Personally I can relate to your story and couldn't really confide in my parents. Recently, when my mum learned I was going to the doctor again for a prescription, she thought my chronic depression was something I could just "get over".

Christ.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:15 pm

Why must human communication, socialization, and relationships depend on awkwardness? I'm almost too socially awkward to exist due to my aspergers syndrome and try to go out of my way to avoid awkwardness, but everybody sees it as no big deal. Why don't any of you bat an eye to it? Why can't any of you see how awkward it is to talk to people? it's not just awkwardness, I see problems with things everyone takes for granted. Aesthetics, for example.
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Last edited by Deathclaw_Puncher on Sun Apr 28, 2013 1:30 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:24 pm

I think most people find it awkward to talk to people on some level. I know that I personally agonise in retrospect about things I've said to people and have painful imaginary future conversations in my head, and most people class me as an extrovert (they're wrong, but there you are). I'm not making light of your being on the autistic spectrum, but just remember that it is a spectrum. Most of us have at least some "Argh, why can't I interact like everyone else?" in our make-up.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby AboveGL » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:34 pm

I have the same issues as Eric, only I'm quite awkward online too.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:48 pm

OrangeEyebrows wrote:I think most people find it awkward to talk to people on some level. I know that I personally agonise in retrospect about things I've said to people and have painful imaginary future conversations in my head, and most people class me as an extrovert (they're wrong, but there you are). I'm not making light of your being on the autistic spectrum, but just remember that it is a spectrum. Most of us have at least some "Argh, why can't I interact like everyone else?" in our make-up.

So why don't you make as big a deal out of it?
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:54 pm

Me or AboveGL? For my part...well, like I say, it's a spectrum. I also got through my teen years by having a "tough gal" persona, and part of that lingers. It's like method acting in reverse. I suspect you'd get a different answer from everyone.

But I sense that my answer isn't making you feel any better.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby Dottoe » Sun Apr 28, 2013 12:01 am

Ericthebearjew wrote:So why don't you make as big a deal out of it?


If I may, it is still a big deal. It always is. You just rarely see someone at their worst. I still have really bad, hide in the closet with a blanket around me, days. I have written more suicide notes than I want to think about. I don't feel much of anything anymore. I really should be dead by now. How I ever got a boyfriend is absolutely beyond understanding.

Almost everyone you meet is fighting some kind of personal battle. They have scars, ones you can see and ones you can't. Sure, there are some super copers, people who can just shrug off stress like it's last season's fashion, but they're as rare as the super deranged. You're not strange or left out because everyone else looks like they know what they're doing. Odds are very good they don't.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby Mr Dent » Mon Apr 29, 2013 3:43 am

Yeah a lot of people are good at hiding awkwardness. Or they drink so they just don't care. Not that I'm recommending that.

My rant: women who date by committee, or more specifically, friend's of women sticking their freaking nose in my business. I was seeing this lovely older woman, we had insane amounts in common, but guess what? Her good friend just ended a long term relationship and just decided that SHE wanted to be with me instead, invited herself along when we went out, whinged incessantly about it to the point were the woman I was with just went 'jesus, just have him, I don't need this', and then they told me, hey guess what, we just decided that you're gonna be with this other girl... without discussing one word of it with me... without me even showing ANY interest in this other one. And then I'm the bad guy when I tell them to fuck right off.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby Dottoe » Tue Apr 30, 2013 7:25 am

Wow. On the bright side, you might have just avoided a whole bunch of crazy.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby Mr Dent » Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:40 pm

I was going to make a crazy threesome joke, but you are completely right.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby spicytaco » Tue Apr 30, 2013 2:25 pm

That's the craziest thing I've ever heard Mr. Dent. Jeez. You're not a baseball card, they can't just trade you.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby jbobsully11 » Thu May 02, 2013 4:40 am

As certain members of my family say, Mr Dent: sooner or later, the crazy comes out (better sooner than later, especially in this case; imagine if that happened on a fourth or fifth date).

OrangeEyebrows wrote:I think most people find it awkward to talk to people on some level. I know that I personally agonise in retrospect about things I've said to people and have painful imaginary future conversations in my head (...) Most of us have at least some "Argh, why can't I interact like everyone else?" in our make-up.

That's me. All. The. Goddamn. Time. Both the imaginary future conversations and the agonizing over real ones from the past (though no one mistakes me for an extrovert, which is why I edited that out of the quote).


I didn't get an internship I applied for back in March at my school's job fair (the company specifically said they'd let me know today if I got it, which seems like an oddly long time to me, but there you go). And none of the other companies I applied to have gotten back to me, so I'm guessing I didn't get any of those, either. They all swore they *loved* my resume, though (and I even behaved like a normal human while I was talking to them, and e-mailed them after the fair was over)...

Oh, and as far as school goes, I have only 18 credits left, but the way the classes work out, I'll be stuck here for another year and a half (some are prerequisites for others). And some classes I failed a few years ago (before I switched majors) will drag my GPA down until I graduate, even though I passed their equivalents for my current major (mechanical engineering technology, if you happen to know any companies who want interns and have low standards).
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby Mr Dent » Thu May 02, 2013 2:05 pm

spicytaco wrote:That's the craziest thing I've ever heard Mr. Dent. Jeez. You're not a baseball card, they can't just trade you.


I am actually worried about what they said at the time, they must have their own statistics, or maybe even cards. I remember a time being asked human social bathroom skills. And my cooking skills. Not cool.
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Re: The rant thread.

Postby CarrieVS » Tue Jun 04, 2013 6:05 pm

Dottoe wrote:LaChaise, I'm trying to give you an internet hug.


The sole useful thing I gained from Icanhazcheezburger was learning how to give an internet hug.
You do this:
{{LaChaise}}
The more sets of braces, the tighter the hug.
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