Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Discussion, in general

Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby Kate » Thu Nov 19, 2015 12:08 am

Because I am the best admin ever, I can't remember if we have a thread for this...and if we do, I will certainly merge this back into the appropriate place, but I have made a good faith effort to look for it.

Edit: I'm going to add that for the purpose of this thread, the general internet counts as the real world even though it's not technically offline. Meatspace shouldn't get a monopoly on awkward moments.

Here is my story:

Today, I was in the grocery store getting cheese doodles because that is my right as an American.

I was walking down the snack aisle and a manager-looking guy was taking inventory of peanuts and blocking the way. But, my eyes were drawn immediately to the almonds and I contemplated getting them instead, since it's healthier and they are tasty (especially with all of that drought).

The man notices me and apologizes for blocking the way and steps back, and I step past him and say, "Oh no, sorry, I was caught looking at the nuts. I mean...jeez, I mean I was distracted by the nuts. Ug that isn't any better. I need to work on my wording. I am so sorry sir, have a good day."

I blushed all the way to the car, I swear to God, I literally ran away from him.
  • 44

JT's Art Thread - JamesT's awesome stuff.
User avatar
Kate
Gul DuKate
Gul DuKate
 
Posts: 2961
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:08 am
Location: Assembling Future Kate
Show rep
Title: Sheepwoman

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby Learned Nand » Thu Nov 19, 2015 12:20 am

One time, on another forum, I was arguing about the Israeli-Palestian conflict (I know you are all shocked), and we were talking about Salim Fayyad, a minister of the Palestinian Authority. Somebody got the idea that I was calling him a Nazi for being Palestinian, so I went to correct him.

I was going to say "Fayyad is definitely not a Nazi", but I forgot the "not".

It resulted in a brief ban for racism >.>
  • 38

Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Click for a Limerick
OrangeEyebrows wrote:There once was a guy, Aviel,
whose arguments no one could quell.
He tested with Turing,
his circuits fried during,
and now we'll have peace for a spell.
User avatar
Learned Nand
Back-End Admin
Back-End Admin
 
Posts: 9858
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:18 pm
Location: Permanently in the wrong
Show rep
Title: Auditor of Reality

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby ghijkmnop » Thu Nov 19, 2015 12:51 am

Redacted
  • 32

Last edited by ghijkmnop on Mon Mar 18, 2019 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Delete my account
ghijkmnop
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1962
Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 8:22 am
Show rep
Title: Prisoner of TCS

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby SandTea » Thu Nov 19, 2015 2:50 am

Great. Now I have somewhere to hopefully vent all these things and forget them forever by immortalizing them on the internet.

These will most likely not be "yesterday" or anytime close because I have learned the whole 'better to keep your mouth shut and have people assume you're an idiot than open it and remove all doubt' thing but I often wake up to my asshole brain going "remember that time this thing happened? HA! You do now"

I'll start with an easy one. I often get lost in thought and stare off into the distance... sometimes that distance happens to be called "mandy". I had no idea but apparently I was staring at some girl for a long time at a 'party' around some table of boring small talk and she felt the need to ask if I was OK. Me now broken from daydreaming just replied normally "yeah, why?" It was only later I was told what happened.

I suppose late onset embarrassment is better than immediate though. Luckily never saw her again cause there would be no way she wouldn't just think I took a week to come up with some excuse.
  • 25

"Draw me not without reason; sheath me not without honor."
User avatar
SandTea
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1257
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 5:01 pm
Show rep
Title: 3rdAeolus

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby pikajew » Thu Nov 19, 2015 3:29 am

Ooh! I have one!

I go to Games Workshop fairly regularly. They don't have a restroom themself, but there's a whole shopping center around it including a Target. So one time, I was playing against a friend and I was on my female time and I had to go now, so I walked to Target. I immediately went into the restroom to accomplish what I went there for, but surprisingly there was no little garbage can in the stall. While I was looking around in the stall for the garbage can, I heard someone peeing, but there was no one in the stall next to me. Holy hell, I walked into the men's room. And I'm standing in this stall in high heels, so obviously the man peeing knows I'm a woman. So I wait until he's done, come out, wash my hands, and walk out. The security guard sees me and does a double-take, which shames me even more.

Now I check which restroom I'm walking into.
  • 29

User avatar
pikajew
TCS Sithlord
TCS Sithlord
 
Posts: 221
Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 8:19 am
Location: Las Vegas, NV, USA
Show rep
Title: Darth

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby SilverMaple » Thu Nov 19, 2015 3:53 am

Oh goodness, Pikajew, you lived through my worst awkward nightmare. I'm ridiculously paranoid about that scenario ever happening to me, so I always triple-check which one I'm walking into when I'm somewhere new (and even when I'm somewhere I know well). Those cutesy gimmicky signs they have at some places (this kind of bullcrap) are terrible. Even though I know which is which, I'm still terrified I've interpreted it wrong and am going to walk in to see a bunch of guys staring at me.

So...yeah...as to be expected, I have a ton of these, but I'll start with one I still remember and cringe at on a regular basis. I had a seasonal job that ended in August, so on the last day of work, my boss brought in lunch before we went bowling for a sort of wind-up thing. Everyone was sitting around this huge meeting table, 10 or 15 people, and we were all in the middle of eating, so it was pretty quiet.

The co-worker next to me and I started talking about how often we had bowled previously, which led to me saying "oh, I suck at bowling, since I don't do it much." I paused, and at this point the rest of the room was silent, which made me nervous, and after no consideration as to the wording of the next part of the sentence, I continued with "but I have a lot of fun sucking!"

Everything stayed totally quiet, with a couple people looking at me, and the rest staring down at their plates. I would have been entirely happy to simply evaporate at any point in the few minutes that followed. It wouldn't have been so bad if people had started laughing, but it was closer to the "just uncomfortable" than the "unintentionally funny" end of the spectrum. Ugh.
  • 30

Bert wrote:The best part of my job is fistfighting an 8 year old every day.


//Friend come and go, like the wave in the ocean, but true ones stay like an octopus on our face.\\
User avatar
SilverMaple
Champion
Champion
 
Posts: 1491
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2015 6:34 pm
Location: In da Lab
Show rep
Title: Nerd of a Feather

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby Learned Nand » Thu Nov 19, 2015 4:40 am

The way to avoid those issues is to never go to a bathroom in a public space.
  • 17

Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Click for a Limerick
OrangeEyebrows wrote:There once was a guy, Aviel,
whose arguments no one could quell.
He tested with Turing,
his circuits fried during,
and now we'll have peace for a spell.
User avatar
Learned Nand
Back-End Admin
Back-End Admin
 
Posts: 9858
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:18 pm
Location: Permanently in the wrong
Show rep
Title: Auditor of Reality

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby iMURDAu » Thu Nov 19, 2015 5:54 am

Once I worked at a gas station with a guy who had a full time job at an auto parts store. He told me he could get me a job there if I ever needed one. Fast forward a year or so and I'm working at a different gas station and hated every second of that place and he comes walking in. I hadn't seen him since I left the other place which he said he left shortly after as well. He said he could still get me in at the parts store and in fact was now in management and had a position open up so it was basically a slam dunk because he knew my work ethic and blah blah.

So I'm like fuck it why not. I took home an application and filled it out. Brought it back with a huge smile on my face thinking I'm in. Hand it over and the guy says they aren't hiring. I was perplexed and asked how could that be when Don told me he was going to hire me. Don (real name) turns out to be a stocker who worked two nights a week there. As much as that revelation sucked it was around that time Satan himself decided to take flight from my intestines in the form of escaping gas. Satan being evil, he was silent and the smell moved faster than triple the speed of light. I just said "well nevermind then" and walked out. If they didn't have air fresheners then I might be typing this from prison because everyone inside would've vomited until they bled to death from it. I legit checked to see if I shit myself after I got to my car.
  • 26

Last edited by iMURDAu on Thu Nov 19, 2015 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“This is going to become a bad meme,” Todd observed.
User avatar
iMURDAu
TCS Chomper
TCS Chomper
 
Posts: 6752
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:08 am
Location: twitch.tv/beakstore
Show rep
Title: King of Fuh

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby pikajew » Thu Nov 19, 2015 7:42 am

aviel wrote:The way to avoid those issues is to never go to a bathroom in a public space.


I'm certain your period is much more efficient than mine.
  • 26

User avatar
pikajew
TCS Sithlord
TCS Sithlord
 
Posts: 221
Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 8:19 am
Location: Las Vegas, NV, USA
Show rep
Title: Darth

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby Kate » Thu Nov 19, 2015 2:44 pm

Everything avi does is efficient. Period.

Maple, the people who failed to laugh at that are officially soulless. Okay, maybe not, but I laughed for a full minute, if it helps.
  • 26

JT's Art Thread - JamesT's awesome stuff.
User avatar
Kate
Gul DuKate
Gul DuKate
 
Posts: 2961
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:08 am
Location: Assembling Future Kate
Show rep
Title: Sheepwoman

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby sunglasses » Thu Nov 19, 2015 3:21 pm

Way back when I was talking with who would become my exmotherinlaw and we were discussing her daughter's mood swings. What I meant to say was "Well maybe she's PMSing."

What I said was "Well maybe she's in heat."


Oh yeah.
  • 33

TCS Etiquette Guide

Rules and FAQs

Zevran wrote:Magic can kill. Knives can kill. Even small children launched at great speeds can kill.
User avatar
sunglasses
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 11541
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:52 pm
Show rep
Title: The Speaker of Horrors.

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby DoglovingJim » Thu Nov 19, 2015 4:12 pm

sunglasses wrote:Way back when I was talking with who would become my exmotherinlaw and we were discussing her daughter's mood swings. What I meant to say was "Well maybe she's PMSing."

What I said was "Well maybe she's in heat."


Oh yeah.


Spoiler: show
Image
  • 13

Image

Edgar Cabrera wrote:HOLY SHIT GUYS, IT'S DOGLOVINGJIM!!! HE'S HERE!!!

skoobadive wrote:It's the legendary DoglovingJim! Ohboy, this must be the greatest day of my life!

Cracked.com wrote:Initially, his interest in animals was "primarily a sexual attraction," but as he grew older, he also "developed the emotional attraction." We guess we could call what Jim does ... dog-lovin'
User avatar
DoglovingJim
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 2798
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2015 12:07 am
Location: No block of land is going to tie Jim and his dogs down.
Show rep
Title: Manly Man

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby reallifegirl » Thu Nov 19, 2015 5:17 pm

After I'd been working at my job about three years, they hired the woman who is now My Boss. She put together a team, including me, she got right to work, it was all good stuff and made things way more organized. I liked her. She seemed to like me, and even better, relied on me because I had been here way longer than she had.

So of course, when she's been here about a week, I fuck up. She asked me to place lunch orders for our team for a day-long meeting, which would be delivered to the office. I did and kept my phone in my pocket during the meeting so I'd feel it vibrate when the delivery guy called.

Thing is, I basically keep my phone on vibrate all the time and hadn't changed my ringtone in years, or the ringtone volume settings. And somehow I accidentally (that one fucking time) switched it off of vibrate and onto 'ring'.

So mid-meeting, my phone EXPLODES with the dulcet tones of My Chemical Romance.

"I AM NOT AFRAID TO KEEP ON LIVI-ING, I AM NOT AFRAID TO WALK THIS WORLD ALONE...."

That was not the bad part.

The bad part was how it startled me so badly that I shrieked "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" in the middle of the meeting and in front of my boss and team.

They seemed to forgive me once I fetched their sandwiches, but still.
  • 28

"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not."

Encyclopedia Dramatica wrote:Reallifegirl: Is supposedly a girl in real life, but we all know that's false. Gets highest comment roughly 75% of the time, and has never had a single red-thumbed comment. Ever.
User avatar
reallifegirl
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1609
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 5:21 pm
Show rep
Title: Officially allegedly female

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby Bert » Fri Nov 20, 2015 2:36 am

I took my dog to the vet sometime last year and of course as part of the check-up the vet assistant used the rectal thermometer on her. She cried a bit at first but then started wagging. The vet assistant said something like "She is wagging so it can't be too bad." And I respond, without thinking, "Well, she doesn't get much action so this is probably a treat for her."

I think she stayed red as a tomato for the rest of the visit. I blame all of you for turning me into this person.
  • 27

"Condoms are a sign of a bad relationship." -Kate

"We have been here a while. We are not clean people." -Typical Michael
User avatar
Bert
Jedi Master
Jedi Master
 
Posts: 873
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:50 pm
Location: The Street
Show rep

Re: Awkward Offline: Tales of Real World Blushing

Postby DoglovingJim » Fri Nov 20, 2015 6:37 am

Bert wrote:I blame all of you for turning me into this person.


Well, everyone except me of course. Because I certainly had nothing to do with it.

Image
  • 11

Image

Edgar Cabrera wrote:HOLY SHIT GUYS, IT'S DOGLOVINGJIM!!! HE'S HERE!!!

skoobadive wrote:It's the legendary DoglovingJim! Ohboy, this must be the greatest day of my life!

Cracked.com wrote:Initially, his interest in animals was "primarily a sexual attraction," but as he grew older, he also "developed the emotional attraction." We guess we could call what Jim does ... dog-lovin'
User avatar
DoglovingJim
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 2798
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2015 12:07 am
Location: No block of land is going to tie Jim and his dogs down.
Show rep
Title: Manly Man

Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 18 guests