You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

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You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby DamianaRaven » Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:47 pm

Folks, we really need to get together as a team and try to stop driving like a bunch of assholes. We're killing ~32K of each other Every. Single. Year. and I'm tired of it. That's about three or four every hour, none of whom woke up expecting this kind of ultimate bullshit. That's not even counting the "injuries," a word that can mean anything from a sprained wrist to the complete loss of all four limbs and also a bunch of burning. (Hey, I'm sure it's happened - it was just the worst thing I could think of off the top of my head.) In an effort to cut back on this number, if only by one, I say we have a talk about what shitty drivers we all are. To keep it balanced and introspective, for every complaint you sound off about what other drivers are doing wrong, confess some of the ways in which you're either an Idiot or a Maniac. It doesn't have to be one-for-one, but if you're gonna bitch, confess.

I fall under the category of "idiot." I obey every speed limit, take my sweet time pulling into turns, and generally just piss off everyone that's behind me. I'm also fucking terrified the whole time I'm driving, which I'm sure has a detrimental effect on my reflexes and attention span. I need to learn how to relax and trust at least myself when I'm on the road. Any advice on that is welcome.

One of the deadliest mistakes I see SO MANY other people making is vigorously trying to do anything besides navigate a steel and glass cage at breakneck speeds among other humans who are attempting the same miracle of courage and technology. Put that phone down immediately, wrap that cheeseburger back up until you're home, and pull off the road if you need to administer justice and order to the Backseat Brigade! I realize that small multitasking is possible to the point of being almost safe, so I'm not passing on judgment on everyone who lights a cigarette, changes the radio, or takes a sip of their drink.

Who else has pet peeves and shortcomings when traveling upon The Road.
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Last edited by DamianaRaven on Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:23 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby ShuaiGuy » Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:51 pm

<Redacted>
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Last edited by ShuaiGuy on Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby Twistappel » Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:53 pm

I think that my earlier post in the "Things that Are Things" thread sums up my major grievances:

Sister Morphine wrote:On a completely unrelated note, even though people in Memphis can't merge for shit, think that speed limits are more like guidelines, and don't appear to know what the pretty lights on the sides of their vehicles are for, I have come to realise that by comparison, drivers back home are homicidal maniacs and commuting is a Mad Max-style death-race.


Oh, and people who can see you trying to change lanes, and speed up specifically in order to stop you so that you miss your exit. Those people shit me.

And people who stack intersections (this is a thing I have observed more in Australia than the USA). Fucking wait your turn and we'll all get where we're going a lot faster.

Edit: And because I didn't read the OP properly:

I'm still having some issues lining my vehicle up properly in the lane, because I'm used to a right-hand drive.
I tend to drive much more aggressively than most people here. I think that's a hangover from the whole Australian Mad Max Death Race thing.
I have a bad habit of pulling out onto the road and flooring the accelerator.
The Man-creature says I follow other vehicles too closely.
I piss people off because I drive at the speed limit.
I'm still not entirely sure what the etiquette is with those yellow turn lanes you have here in the States.
I am an angry, angry person and this sometimes distracts me.
I ride the clutch.
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Last edited by Twistappel on Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby DamianaRaven » Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:58 pm

Sister Morphine wrote:And people who stack intersections (this is a thing I have observed more in Australia than the USA). Fucking wait your turn and we'll all get where we're going a lot faster.


What is "stacking an intersection"? Is it that bullshit move wherein the third car in lane one whips over for no other reason than to be the first car in lane two? What an asshole! It should be perfectly legal to rear end people who do that and then fucking sit there when the light turns green... or purple or tartan or whatever you weirdos use for "go" over there. I just realized, this will be an interesting comparison of driver culture in different countries!
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby sunglasses » Fri Oct 09, 2015 11:11 pm

Turn signals!

They aren't just a suggestion.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby Twistappel » Fri Oct 09, 2015 11:26 pm

DamianaRaven wrote:
Sister Morphine wrote:And people who stack intersections (this is a thing I have observed more in Australia than the USA). Fucking wait your turn and we'll all get where we're going a lot faster.


What is "stacking an intersection"? Is it that bullshit move wherein the third car in lane one whips over for no other reason than to be the first car in lane two? What an asshole! It should be perfectly legal to rear end people who do that and then fucking sit there when the light turns green... or purple or tartan or whatever you weirdos use for "go" over there. I just realized, this will be an interesting comparison of driver culture in different countries!

It's when there's a lot of traffic, and people stop their car in the middle of an intersection, even though there is nowhere for them to go until the lights change again, thereby holding up all the traffic going the other way. I drew a picture:

Spoiler: show
stacking the intersection.png
stacking the intersection.png (32.81 KiB) Viewed 5935 times


Admittedly sometimes people do this by mistake, because they misjudge how much the traffic on the other side of the intersection will move, but a lot of the time it's just because they're impatient fuckwits.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby mancityfooty » Fri Oct 09, 2015 11:34 pm

DamianaRaven wrote:I fall under the category of "idiot." I obey every speed limit, take my sweet time pulling into turns, and just generally just piss off everyone that's behind me. I'm also fucking terrified the whole time I'm driving, which I'm sure has a detrimental effect on my reflexes and attention span.


Wait, are you the idiot because you follow the rules of The Road, or because you're "fucking terrified the whole time"?

DamianaRaven wrote:Who else has pet peeves and shortcomings when traveling upon The Road.


F*cking Prius drivers. I don't know what it is, but Prius drivers are frequently very angry/dangerous people on my commute. To put it in a nutshell, they drive like they're on I-35 going through Texas.

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Spoiler: show
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby Twistappel » Fri Oct 09, 2015 11:37 pm

mancityfooty wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image

[hangs head]

Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby CarrieVS » Fri Oct 09, 2015 11:45 pm

What I absolutely detest is people who give up their right of way to let me out, when there's no traffic behind them.

Just go, just fucking go, and then I can get out without any problem, without having to work out whether you're letting me out or preparing to turn somewhere yourself, or just slowing down because you're lost or distracted. I'd always get out sooner if you don't try and be helpful, and sometimes if I need a gap in more than one stream of traffic at once, such as turning right, the hold-up can be enough to mean I can't get out at all. Meanwhile you're there looking daggers at me for not taking advantage of your generosity.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby PSTN » Sat Oct 10, 2015 12:35 am

Hoo boy!

I drive for a living, so I've stacked up a good list of driving pet peeves. But I suppose if I had to pick the biggest one it would be:

STOP DRIVING DRUNK!

This is a huge thing in my town. We're the DUI capitol of Canada, and everybody here acts like it's no big deal. I've known several people who will just buy a mickey, or an eight ball, and just drive around aimlessly, for want of something better to do.
I can remember the time a cop on the radio defended drunk driving. To the effect of "well, we can't arrest everybody who drives drunk. We'd end up putting away half the city."

Seriously, I don't have a problem with pretty much any kind of drug, be it booze, weed, coke, even meth. If you want to do it, that's your choice. But if you are, just please don't go driving.

As for what I do...

I might occasionally force my way into lanes when no one lets me in.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby iMURDAu » Sat Oct 10, 2015 12:37 am

I'm going to sit here and blame drivers education for not teaching how to put fluids in your car, check the levels of said fluids and TO SHIFT INTO NEUTRAL IF YOUR ENGINE REVS OUT OF CONTROL and you can't get the accelerator unstuck!!!! Among other things.

Anyone ever visit Detroit? I've been to many metropolises in these United States as a driver. Most of them just through or around on an interstate. Detroit is a special place both on the highway and off. Livernois Ave. is straight up insanity. Those people in Detroit have had cars for waaaaay too long. Did you know the shoulder is a lane? Specifically a turn lane if you're at a stoplight. I mean it isn't marked that way and I'm certain Michigan law says they're not actual lanes but rules are for Canadians according to Detroit drivers. Approaching the city from the south I was going at least 85 because that's what my Cherokee's speedo topped out at and I had to get in the slow lane because I was one of the grandmas holding things back. As someone who grew up inside the Capital Beltway and has many times over witnessed and participated in the I-495 NASCAR-esque style of motoring all I can do is tip my hat in respect.

Pet peeve: The fool who thinks the slow lane is their personal passing lane because the fast lane isn't fast enough at 20+ mph over the speed limit. That dumbass behavior includes rapid lane switching and ass riding the people who aren't in a hurry. Its like "dog get the fuck in line and maybe next time leave earlier". My favorite is when they get stuck in a pack of slow cars because they're in the slow laneand I don't see them again.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby DamianaRaven » Sat Oct 10, 2015 12:42 am

PSTN wrote:I might occasionally force my way into lanes when no one lets me in.


You... you lane raper!
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby Kivutar » Sat Oct 10, 2015 1:07 am

I can't drive...
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby PSTN » Sat Oct 10, 2015 1:15 am

Fuck it, a few more:

If the drive through at Tim's is backed up into the road, just keep driving. You don't get coffee today. Too bad, better luck tomorrow.

When it's icy, and I leave three car lengths ahead of me, that is not an invitation to pull in front of me. My truck weighs up to 27,000 kg. It doesn't exactly stop on a fucking dime.

This one's just for the truckers. Turn off your jake in town! Everybody in a two kilometer radius can hear it.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby Twistappel » Sat Oct 10, 2015 1:19 am

PSTN wrote:When it's icy, and I leave three car lengths ahead of me, that is not an invitation to pull in front of me. My truck weighs up to 27,000 kg. It doesn't exactly stop on a fucking dime.

Yeah, people seem to have this weird blind spot about heavy vehicles and stopping distance. My old man drives a bus and has a similar complaint.
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