You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby cmsellers » Wed Jan 11, 2017 2:16 am

ghijkmnop wrote:I've driven in most of the lower 48, and I can confidently state that the worst drivers in the US are right here in ABQ.

Worse than New York City? Worse than the giant New York suburbs known as New Jersey and Connecticut? Worse than Miami?

I've said it before, but Texas drivers are relatively good compared to the Northeast with the exception of they won't let you into their lane once you have a Texas license plate.

I've never driven in Miami myself, but I'm one of the worst drivers in Massachusetts (and definitely in Texas), and two of my Miami-based aunts complimented my driving skills, so...
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby NathanLoiselle » Wed Jan 11, 2017 3:00 am

I wish people would stop calling my family shitty drivers. Just because we're eyeballs doesn't mean we can't row a boat as the saying goes.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby ghijkmnop » Wed Jan 11, 2017 3:44 am

Redacted
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Last edited by ghijkmnop on Thu Mar 14, 2019 2:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby JamishT » Wed Jan 11, 2017 3:53 am

cmsellers wrote:My mother is visiting, and my driving terrifies her. She alternates between closing her eyes tightly and opening them long enough to say things like "don't hit that Lexus!"


That would just stress me out and make me drive worse.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby cmsellers » Wed Jan 11, 2017 4:00 am

JamishT wrote:That would just stress me out and make me drive worse.

Oh, it does. The very first time I tried to learn to drive, at seventeen, my mother's freaking out caused me to crash into a car in the parking lot. It was three years before I tried to learn to drive again, and we both agreed that my mother should not be the one to teach me.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby Piter Lauchy » Wed Jan 11, 2017 5:17 pm

I'm a fantastic driver. That's all.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby cmsellers » Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:49 pm

Piter Lauchy wrote:I'm a fantastic driver. That's all.

So what's the fastest you've driven on the autobahns?
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby Learned Nand » Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:59 pm

I can't stand shitty drivers. I mean, the Nouveau open source graphics drivers don't even support 3D hardware acceleration.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby Piter Lauchy » Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:22 pm

cmsellers wrote:
Piter Lauchy wrote:I'm a fantastic driver. That's all.

So what's the fastest you've driven on the autobahns?

160-170 km/h (~99-106 mph), I think.
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The Oatmeal wrote:Live life passionately and love everyone like they are family, because Jesus is always with you. Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He'd hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He'd windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee's knees. [...]
Praise Jesus, especially when it's sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby JamishT » Thu Jan 12, 2017 2:40 am

Piter Lauchy wrote:
cmsellers wrote:
Piter Lauchy wrote:I'm a fantastic driver. That's all.

So what's the fastest you've driven on the autobahns?

160-170 km/h (~99-106 mph), I think.


Pshh, I've done that on the curvy, hilly, back roads of Ohio! At night!
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby iMURDAu » Thu Jan 12, 2017 8:41 pm

Hahahaha I've done 120+ mph on the roads around Shelby, Ohio many times. Shit I used to call George Hawk Rd. the 100 mph road. How am I alive?
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby cmsellers » Sun Jan 22, 2017 5:20 am

So today traffic was terrible today due to the Women's March on Austin, and I don't handle bumper-to-bumper traffic very well.

And so today, I accidentally blocked the box, for which there exists a $200 fine. (Fortunately, the police were all too busy keeping an eye on those suspiciously un-American protesters to ticket me; unfortunately, I probably made traffic even worse.) The light was green, the light at the next intersection was green, and I pulled into the intersection. I didn't take into account that the light at the intersection ahead of it might be red, leaving me stuck in the intersection blocking the box like the signs say not to (including at that exact intersection) when the light turned.

So out of nervousness, I pulled up as close to the black pickup truck in front of me as I could. Pickup truck drivers, of course, are very possessive, and the driver stormed out, then saw that my car wasn't actually touching his truck, glared at me and shook his head, and went back to his truck. I wonder what would have happened if I'd actually touched his truck...
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby satan_n_stuff » Sun Jan 29, 2017 1:10 pm

Piter Lauchy wrote:
cmsellers wrote:
Piter Lauchy wrote:I'm a fantastic driver. That's all.

So what's the fastest you've driven on the autobahns?

160-170 km/h (~99-106 mph), I think.

You either have a really slow car or you've never once tried to see what it can do.
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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby iMURDAu » Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:17 pm

satan_n_stuff wrote:
Piter Lauchy wrote:
cmsellers wrote:
Piter Lauchy wrote:I'm a fantastic driver. That's all.

So what's the fastest you've driven on the autobahns?

160-170 km/h (~99-106 mph), I think.

You either have a really slow car or you've never once tried to see what it can do.


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Re: You're a shitty driver... yes, you with the eyeballs!

Postby Paradox » Sun Jan 29, 2017 5:03 pm

Oh yeah, I forgot to bring my driver's license to 'Merica.
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