by ButtChocolate » Tue Jul 09, 2013 5:56 pm
Oh! Oh! I got one from today!
I love it when I can see some jackass in my rearview mirror weaving in and out of the lanes on the highway 20 or so MPH above the speed limit, cutting people off and driving wrecklessly- and then they come upon me and I can casually slip up alongside a truck and just stick this dude behind a moving wall for a while. I love to watch them change lanes behind me and the truck, anticipating which one of us is going to give ground first. They eventually find a way to pass, and I wave goodbye excitedly like an infantile adult or lobotomy patient with a big dopey smile on my face and my wrist flapping on a hinge.
The REAL bonus comes though when I inevitably get off at the next exit and wouldn't ya know it: there they are, sitting at the light. It's the absolute best time to roll up beside them, crank the disco station on the radio, and lip-sync Donna Summer songs at them until they peel out at the green. One time- and it's only happened once and I'll treasure the memory forever- I got to do it three times/lights in a row to the same Fast & Furious street-racer car all the way down a long road. It was the Bee Gees playing however, but I went one step beyond lip-syncing and actually joined Barry Gibb in a falsetto duet of Night Fever. It also helps to have a shit car when you do this, to rub even more salt in the wound.
EDIT: (Not to say that Barry Gibb drives a shit car, just that YOU should have one when attempting this in order to embarrass that jerkoff street racer. I don't actually know what Barry Gibb drives. Probably something pretty nice, though. Probably has an open hood with a bushel of chest hair protruding from it, and gold medallions hanging from the rear view.)