horse shit.
Step one, on one particular page, was "Get Positive." Look, if I could just "get positive", I wouldn't need this advice in the first place. I was hoping there'd be some steps in between here and "get positive." Maybe there should be a guide for the guide.
So let's look that up. "How to be positive." Oh, shit, Wikihow even has pictures. Dope. This should totally work.
Step 1. "Accept what you are." FUCK A DUCK.
fuuuuuu
Okay okay, calm down, maybe there's a guide for the guide for the guide. Let's just look this shit up.
Found one. 12 Ways To Accept Yourself. Okay. 12 sounds like the correct number of steps. I might be wrong. I don't know. I've never really tried to accept myself before and honestly have no idea how many steps it's going to take. Fingers crossed. Opening the tab. Let's see where this goes.
Step 1. "Set an intention." Already did that, didn't I? I mean that's why I'm here? Okay, let's just move on to the next one because we have OBVIOUSLY nailed this.
Step 2. "Celebrate Your Strengths." CHRIST ON A STICK-
If I could just celebrate shit at whim I'd already be positive.
I guess it's another thing to look up.
I'm going to have to be even more basic than that, though, because I don't even know what my strengths are, in the first place. So I'm going to be looking up "how to identify your strengths" or something along those lines.
Step 1."Understand Your Abilities" FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK GOD DAMN IT MOTHERFUCKING SHIT I HATE THE INTERET
Okay, I give up. Fuck all this motivational shit. I'll just fire up the old spite machine. That'll do it for me.