Stop the world, I want to get off

Discussion, in general

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby sunglasses » Thu Sep 08, 2016 3:26 pm

My father's friend (who had terminal cancer) committed suicide.

Two of my siblings texted me right away asking if I'd heard the news.

I don't speak to my father after he insinuated that mental illness isn't real.

To my more rational sister I said to her, "Look, I mean, I didn't know the guy. Never met him. I'm not trying to be mean here but I'm not sure why I'm supposed to care? It's sad he killed himself, yes, but he had terminal cancer. He talked about killing himself all the time and Dad (when I still talked to him) would also poo poo it. I mean, I'm sorry Dad lost his only friend but I feel like you guys are trying to guilt me into talking to him again."
  • 25

TCS Etiquette Guide

Rules and FAQs

Zevran wrote:Magic can kill. Knives can kill. Even small children launched at great speeds can kill.
User avatar
sunglasses
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 11541
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:52 pm
Show rep
Title: The Speaker of Horrors.

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby octoberpumpkin » Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:46 pm

I feel like shit. I somehow got even fatter despite going to the at least four times a week,I hate my computer class and it's managed to tank my average for stuff I didn't even do wrong. It's just because of their stupid, finicky system. I'll do EXACTLY what it shows me to do and it'll mark me wrong. I can't discuss this with anyone though because there's like 5 different assigned instructors for the assigned class and none of them respond to anything, ever. I still can't get my refills and asking a person with anxiety to pester people about anxiety meds is a TERRIBLE IDEA and so I'm just out of fucking luck until I get to see the new doctor. Hopefully she'll actually remember my refills, that would be nice. Graded roleplays start next week in counseling class and my practice ones have been shit so far. How did I ever convince myself I could do this? But now I have to keep trucking along lest I waste countless time and money and hope someone up there takes pity on me and finds me a job. I dunno, I'm not even good enough to work a crap minimum wage job so I'll probably just be a worthless sack my whole life, yay!

Oh and next up is English class with Clingy McGee who wants to be friends and I don't even want to talk to. Also, sure enough, the dinner went great for everyone but me, and she was super happy and excited and my boyfriend really liked her and her husband, and now I have to be the bad guy who makes everyone unhappy because of my stupid, selfish reasons. I don't want to be her friend. I don't like her. I don't enjoy her company. I would be happy if I never had to speak to her again. But OH WELL she's in the same program so I'll probably have more classes with her in the future hahaha
  • 20

User avatar
octoberpumpkin
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1968
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2015 7:24 pm
Show rep
Title: Pinkasaurus Rex

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby iMURDAu » Fri Nov 04, 2016 10:42 pm

Have we shot humans into the Sun before? Do we know what effects that has on the human body? I mean sure we can hypothesize but I think I've stumbled across two prime candidates for this bodacious endeavor.

We'd be killing them :lol:
  • 10

“This is going to become a bad meme,” Todd observed.
User avatar
iMURDAu
TCS Chomper
TCS Chomper
 
Posts: 6752
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:08 am
Location: twitch.tv/beakstore
Show rep
Title: King of Fuh

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby reallifegirl » Mon Nov 07, 2016 5:12 pm

Went home last night to see my dad & sister for church/dinner/watching Westworld. At dinner, Dad dropped the bomb, "By the way I'm planning on sorting through Mom's clothes tomorrow and donating what I don't keep, so if there's anything you want to keep you should get it now."

I was sort of blindsided and said so, and Dad said, "Well, you knew we were going to have to do this at some point, RLG."

I felt upset and apparently seemed upset all during dinner, because Jesus, if I'd known about this happening, I would have brought bags to carry stuff in and shown up earlier in the day so I'd have time to look through her stuff. Instead I found out at 7:30pm when my dad wants us to all spend the evening doing things together, like I can just go through my dead mom's stuff in 5 seconds like it's no big deal and then go back to church and Jeopardy with them.

Afterwards, I basically burst into tears while standing in front of her closet, and my sister burst into tears because I burst into tears, and Dad realized this was kind of more emotional than I guess he expected and said he didn't have to do it tomorrow and we could take whatever time we needed.

I hate this because I basically spent all of last night crying, and now I'm spending all of this morning trying not to cry, and I hate how easily I cry, and I hate that after a year and a half that even when I think I'm pretty stable and doing okay, something like knocks me off my feet.

And I hate that my family doesn't cry like I do, that I'm the lone fucking asshole who cries on a dime whenever Mom's brought up. Fuck, even when she died, we were clearing her stuff up from her hospital room and I was the only one in hysterics while the rest of the family was able to stay calm and take care of things. Same deal when my grandmother passed, everyone else is talking to the nurses while I'm sitting next to her dead body and unable to calm down.

And I hate that I feel bad about this, because my mom is dead and fuck it, I should be allowed to fucking be upset about this. I never cry over dumb bullshit in my day-to-day, I am allowed to be fucking upset about this. I hate that I feel like an alien whenever I'm upset over my dead mother, and I hate that Dad's first reaction was to be annoyed at me even if he came around.

And what it all just comes down to is that I hate that my mother is dead. She's dead, she isn't coming back, and I will never, ever, ever be able to do anything about it. In my head, I am a little kid throwing a tantrum, screaming "I WANT MY MOM" and there is absolutely fucking nothing I can do about it, because she's dead and all that's left is a corpse in a box in the ground and some clothes in her closet that I need to sort through.
  • 22

"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not."

Encyclopedia Dramatica wrote:Reallifegirl: Is supposedly a girl in real life, but we all know that's false. Gets highest comment roughly 75% of the time, and has never had a single red-thumbed comment. Ever.
User avatar
reallifegirl
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1609
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 5:21 pm
Show rep
Title: Officially allegedly female

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby CarrieVS » Mon Nov 07, 2016 6:12 pm

Alli (May I call you Alli, in keeping with our longstanding nicknaming tradition of 'any pronounceable sequence of letters from the middle of a username'?), that sucks. Of course you're grieving and of course it's fine to cry. It's not weird or weak or unfair to anyone else. You know, I've sometimes felt just as weird and guilty for not crying over something.

Not everyone grieves the same way or cries over the same stuff, even if they're just as upset. It may be your dad just deals with it differently, or even that he feels he shouldn't be visibly upset because 'men don't cry' or something. Either way it sucks that he's not being more sensitive to the fact that you need to grieve in your way, but it sounds like he's trying when he realises.

{{{Alli}} I wish I could be there to give you a real hug.
  • 19

A Combustible Lemon wrote:Death is an archaic concept for simpleminded commonfolk, not Victorian scientist whales.
User avatar
CarrieVS
TCS Redshirt
TCS Redshirt
 
Posts: 7103
Joined: Sat Apr 20, 2013 7:43 pm
Location: By my wild self in the wet wild woods waving my wild tail
Show rep
Title: Drama Llama

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby reallifegirl » Mon Nov 07, 2016 7:50 pm

Thanks, Carrie <3. (And 'Alli' is totally fine, and really clever!)

Dad means well and we're okay now -- we were both on good terms after we hugged it out and watched some Jeopardy reruns. But I'm still sour, I guess, because his first reaction was to be annoyed at me for being upset, and he didn't exactly apologize (I don't think he exactly understands why I felt blindsided, just that I wound up crying). He does try to fix it when we get upset, though, and I do appreciate that he does.

I just hate this stereotypically Irish way we handle things, which is to swallow down our feelings and never, ever talk about them unless it's happy/angry. Which is what I do 90% of the time without problem, but when it comes to stuff this major and final and morbid, I can't keep it up. And I get the sense that no one wants to handle me when I'm like this, which is just fucking lonely.

Thank you for the hugs and the response <3 <3 <3 I really do appreciate it.
  • 17

"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not."

Encyclopedia Dramatica wrote:Reallifegirl: Is supposedly a girl in real life, but we all know that's false. Gets highest comment roughly 75% of the time, and has never had a single red-thumbed comment. Ever.
User avatar
reallifegirl
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1609
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 5:21 pm
Show rep
Title: Officially allegedly female

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby Arkyle » Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:02 pm

My dad died 11 and a half years ago. I still catch myself picking up the phone to call him to tell him something. There are two hymns I still can't sing because they make me cry every time. Grief is neither logic nor finite. The best way I've come up to explain it is that a persons death leaves a big hole in your heart. The hole never heals, you just learn to walk around it. Every so often you trip and land back in that hole and it's as fresh as ever.

Big hugs and you're not alone. It isn't fair and it's not easy.
  • 19

User avatar
Arkyle
TCS Camper
TCS Camper
 
Posts: 863
Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2015 6:45 am
Location: Just far south enough to not be cold
Show rep

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby reallifegirl » Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:47 pm

Arkyle wrote:My dad died 11 and a half years ago. I still catch myself picking up the phone to call him to tell him something. There are two hymns I still can't sing because they make me cry every time. Grief is neither logic nor finite. The best way I've come up to explain it is that a persons death leaves a big hole in your heart. The hole never heals, you just learn to walk around it. Every so often you trip and land back in that hole and it's as fresh as ever.

Big hugs and you're not alone. It isn't fair and it's not easy.


Thanks, Arkyle <3. I appreciate it a lot, and I'm so sorry about your dad :(
  • 15

"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not."

Encyclopedia Dramatica wrote:Reallifegirl: Is supposedly a girl in real life, but we all know that's false. Gets highest comment roughly 75% of the time, and has never had a single red-thumbed comment. Ever.
User avatar
reallifegirl
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1609
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 5:21 pm
Show rep
Title: Officially allegedly female

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby Delta Jim » Tue Nov 15, 2016 10:01 pm

My dog, Lacey, died early this morning at the ripe old age of 15 (her breed is supposed to have a maximum normal lifespan of 12 years and an absolute maximum of 17). When I woke up this morning she was not breathing and I had a feeling she was gone.

I had to carry her to the car, which was not fun (not just because I'm carrying the lifeless remains of my dog, also because we live in a 3rd floor walk-up and it's not easy to carry a corpse wrapped in a blanket down three flights of stairs) and into the vet's office. I also had to drive my mom home (she started crying as they took the body away. Lacey was pretty much her dog).

We knew it was coming (she was old as it was, but her condition had gotten worse over the last few days) and were ready for this. We're just glad she died peacefully in her sleep instead of having to be put down.

I've edited this post to reflect that she's no longer alive.
  • 21

User avatar
Delta Jim
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 1873
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:59 pm
Location: Illinois
Show rep
Title: Not Very Notable

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby Paradox » Tue Nov 15, 2016 10:23 pm

CarrieVS wrote:(May I call you Alli, in keeping with our longstanding nicknaming tradition of 'any pronounceable sequence of letters from the middle of a username'?)

RLG, or Arellgie,
  • 10

[Signature removed for nonpayment.]

The artist once again known as Dox.
User avatar
Paradox
Resident Dickhead
Resident Dickhead
 
Posts: 2243
Joined: Wed May 27, 2015 6:56 pm
Location: Dunbar, WV
Show rep
Title: True Neutral

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby iMURDAu » Tue Nov 15, 2016 10:57 pm

Real sorry to hear that Jim.
  • 15

“This is going to become a bad meme,” Todd observed.
User avatar
iMURDAu
TCS Chomper
TCS Chomper
 
Posts: 6752
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:08 am
Location: twitch.tv/beakstore
Show rep
Title: King of Fuh

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby SilverMaple » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:23 am

I guess while we're in the spirit of thread necro-ing...

I've been feeling extremely useless lately. Anything I can do, pretty much any average person can do better. I keep putting off doing laundry, don't make my own food nearly as often as I should, and can't be bothered to exercise at all. I feel like everyone else in my class is lightyears ahead of me, and I won't have a chance getting a job when people like them are also candidates. They can explain things so intelligently, while I stumble over words just trying to order a coffee. I'm trying really hard, but I'm exhausted all the time and miserable.

What purpose does someone who's dumb as a rock, charming as a honeybadger, and good-looking as a warthog serve? When I try and help, all I do is get in the way, and most of the handful of people who care whether I exist show it in ways that hurt more than they help (my dad interrogating me about everything I do, my mom harassing me daily to "get out and do stuff with people!!!!!" and getting mad when I don't want to go out, despite the fact that 8 out of 10 times her friends invite her out, she doesn't go because she doesn't feel like it, and they don't even go out very often in the first place).

I don't want to go back to my awful hometown when school is done and stay there with my family for God knows how much longer. I can't bear to be there for the rest of my life. But I'm going to have to be there for at least half a year, and probably another year after that, and maybe even longer if no one outside of the province will hire my dumb ass. I feel so trapped, and I have no idea where to take things from here.
  • 14

Bert wrote:The best part of my job is fistfighting an 8 year old every day.


//Friend come and go, like the wave in the ocean, but true ones stay like an octopus on our face.\\
User avatar
SilverMaple
Champion
Champion
 
Posts: 1491
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2015 6:34 pm
Location: In da Lab
Show rep
Title: Nerd of a Feather

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby Tesseracts » Wed Oct 25, 2017 5:57 pm

This thread hasn't been used in a long time. This morning I got an anxiety attack, which isn't that unusual, but what is weird is I felt usually happy before I got the attack. I am afraid of mood swings and I'm worried I can't be happy again without getting an anxiety attack. I don't understand why this is happening.
  • 9

User avatar
Tesseracts
Big Brother
Big Brother
 
Posts: 9653
Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:31 am
Show rep
Title: Social Media Expert

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby NathanLoiselle » Wed Oct 25, 2017 7:39 pm

I tried to get off the world once. But those damn Americans at the border said I didn't have the proper "papers". Like my grade 5 report card isn't good enough.
  • 4

User avatar
NathanLoiselle
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 4484
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 3:49 am
Location: You'll Never Know!
Show rep

Re: Stop the world, I want to get off

Postby sunglasses » Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:19 pm

This isn't about me, but it's so fucking horrible I just am blown away.

My HS friend posted that her dad was in the hospital, I reached out and asked what happened. Here's what I found out.

It’s a long story but basically sometime last week he started getting sick I think it was Monday. He lives in an old house w a gas woodstove. The gas company came out and filled his tank and decided he now needed a shut off valve on it and put locks on his gas so it was completely off. He has no other heat source for the house. We now know he was septic which was causing confusion. He didn’t realize how cold the house was and my sister found him Friday afternoon down on the floor at home.

His body temp on arrival at the er was 83

He probably has some brain damage from being in the cold so long. The gas was off for 2 days
His house was so cold his water and pipes were completely frozen. He was hours from death
We r pretty upset that the gas company would do that especially since he is elderly and was clearly not in his normal state of mind be he would never have let his house get that cold or he would have called someone or went somewhere

Thank god my sister found him
He’s had that stove for 15 years and all of a sudden when it’s freezing out they decided he needed this valve. Sounds like bs to me and they almost killed my dad



Christ on a cracker.

Once he gets stabilized (he's probably going to need a nursing home-he had been independent before. They think the sepsis and the extreme hypothermia caused brain damage) they're going to look into legal options. And I think they should. It's reckless to leave an elderly man with no heat during freezing temperatures.
  • 11

TCS Etiquette Guide

Rules and FAQs

Zevran wrote:Magic can kill. Knives can kill. Even small children launched at great speeds can kill.
User avatar
sunglasses
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 11541
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:52 pm
Show rep
Title: The Speaker of Horrors.

PreviousNext

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 16 guests