Originally, I never meant to make this post. I haven't been on in the last few weeks, and I intended a permanent leave, figuring it would be best to just fade out of this forum. After all, it seems to mirror real life, where nobody really seems to notice my presence nor my absence, and thus I thought just departing quietly would be my best way of doing things. I'm not particularly vindictive enough for a passive-aggressive snippy note, but I suppose I'm also not careless enough to simply disregard what few people have made some impact in my life. Perhaps it may be facile, as this is the internet, but a connection is no less impactful and cherished whether it be in face or over the web.
I know I've gone dark before for months on end and come back without much notice, a testament to my power of invisibility, but this will be a permanent goodbye. I don't want to name anybody whether for good or ill, and I thought it would be best to summon what powers of text I have with to thank you all, and explain why I'm leaving. After all, though I'm not particularly given to theatrics when I dissipate, some of you truly deserve more than just me silently slinking away from the party.
For five years, give or take, I've talked with you all whether about video games, literature, music, or politics, to varying effect. That time has dovetailed quite conveniently with my move to a new city, one I now endeavor to move away from as quickly as I can. For much like this forum, the place I've lived IRL has often felt like a place where I go to and fro, making no impact on anybody nor garnering any notice even as they sometimes make an impact on me. I'd be lying if I pretended that I haven't entertained real-world thoughts of permanently checking out since 2013, a thought I've hosted a decade before then and I suspect I will host long after, for though I tell myself things will be different when I move to a new locale, I know that the problem endemic is still me, and that will never change. Maybe one day I'll follow through, maybe I'll find that mythical place of belonging and won't.
Yet in that span, you all have always entertained, have always helped to keep my mind busy and my spirits high. I've learned here, I've met some truly astonishing people with more strength than I could ever hope to have (here's looking at you, Kate) and more than that, though they don't know it, some have kept me chugging along when the world itself seem utterly pointless. Sometimes it's been inspiration, sometimes it's been as simple as distraction in the minutiae of political polling numbers when it's a Saturday night and I'm trying to take my mind off the very real problem of having nobody outside to share my time with.
So take heart, no matter where you or I go from here, that no matter what happens in life, you've at least managed to garant temporary stay to one perpetually ailing soul, and I wish you all the best of luck wherever life takes you.