Overheard online: sundry silliness

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Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby cmsellers » Tue Dec 20, 2016 9:13 pm

Often I run across really funny comments online with no good place to put them. Usually I either shoehorn them in somewhere or share them in IRC, but I've decided it would be good to have a place to post these comments so that y'all can see them and I can get thumbs. (As a rule of thumb, I'll only post stuff here if it actually makes me laugh and doesn't fit well on another thread—like "idiots on the internet.")

For example:
dotancohen wrote:I once heard two larger women with beautiful accents talking in a bar. I asked "Are the ladies from England?" and one replies "wails". So I correct myself and ask "Are the whales from England?" Sure enough, I never got to date either one of them!

I found said comment when trying to come up with a synonym for "white whale" which wasn't mildly offensive. See, I was trying to describe an introverted girl who enjoys reading classic science fiction, folk music, and travel. Since such a girl is almost certainly going to be fat (and if she's not she's probably not going to date me) comparing her to Ahab's nemesis seems problematic.

I also found a lot of sites helpfully suggesting that the term I was looking for is "beluga," which seems like it could lead to a sitcom plot: the protagonist finds the "white whale" he's been searching for, and she's quite fat. A friend suggests that's offensive, so he googles synonyms for "white whale" and affectionately calls her his "beluga."
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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby Kate » Fri Dec 23, 2016 7:11 am

Beluga seems worse; white whale at least, divorced from weight, has a meaning that isn't mean and that our culture instantly recognizes as "the thing I've devoted my life to searching for at all costs." Beluga does not have that at all, it is a word for whale that is divorced from the positive connotations carried by "white whale."
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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby Anglerphobe » Fri Dec 23, 2016 11:20 am

"Sea Canary" is slightly nicer, although beluga is a fun word to say.
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"Tusser, they tell me, when thou wert alive,
Thou, teaching thrift, thyselfe couldst never thrive.
So, like the whetstone, many men are wont
To sharpen others, when themselves are blunt."

Anyone who has any kind of opinion fucking disgusts me.
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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby cmsellers » Sat Dec 24, 2016 8:03 am

Here's one from the FiveThirtyEight comments on this article.
Jake Larsen wrote:Lumping CA and WY is statistical suicide.
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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby DashaBlade » Sat Dec 24, 2016 11:14 pm

cmsellers wrote:I found said comment when trying to come up with a synonym for "white whale" which wasn't mildly offensive. See, I was trying to describe an introverted girl who enjoys reading classic science fiction, folk music, and travel. Since such a girl is almost certainly going to be fat (and if she's not she's probably not going to date me) comparing her to Ahab's nemesis seems problematic.

I also found a lot of sites helpfully suggesting that the term I was looking for is "beluga," which seems like it could lead to a sitcom plot: the protagonist finds the "white whale" he's been searching for, and she's quite fat. A friend suggests that's offensive, so he googles synonyms for "white whale" and affectionately calls her his "beluga."


If you want to be unoffensive, might I suggest that you refer to this imaginary lady as your holy grail? Someone you have quested a long time for, and perhaps, if you are worthy, you will find her. Also, if you are very lucky, she may carry your blood.
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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby cmsellers » Tue Jan 03, 2017 9:01 pm

From an EU4 Reddit thread:
election-results.png
Does this make sense if you don't play EU4? I have no idea, but I found it hilarious.
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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby cmsellers » Wed Jan 18, 2017 6:59 am

From CityData forums:

third-world-neighborhood.png
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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby Twistappel » Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:56 pm

Do Tweets count for this?

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You say "New World Order" "communist echo chamber" like it's a bad thing.

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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby cmsellers » Fri Feb 10, 2017 10:54 pm

So there was a discussion in the comments of The Atlantic regarding a picture of Jefferson Sessions.

This picture
[url]Image[/url]


sessions talk.png
Aren't ALL Keebler elves evil? Why else would they try to give children diabetes?
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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby cmsellers » Sat Feb 11, 2017 4:55 pm

In response to rumors that Trump might name Sarah Palin ambassador to Canada:

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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby cmsellers » Thu Feb 16, 2017 1:55 am

I don't read Slate unless an article is linked from elsewhere. However if their articles all attract comments like these, maybe I should read it more often.

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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby Kate » Fri Mar 10, 2017 7:01 pm

I don't know if this quite fits here, so please forgive me if this is really the wrong thread for it, but someone on my facebook feed liked this post about a little girl in a wheelchair:

"Cammy was born unable to walk or speak. Her goal? Score a goal with the help of her favorite player, Duncan Keith. The Blackhawks blueliner made it happen."

And all I could think was, "Well we're all born unable to walk or speak..."
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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby Cpt._Funkotron » Fri Mar 10, 2017 8:48 pm

Anglerphobe wrote:"Sea Canary" is slightly nicer, although beluga is a fun word to say.


It's impossible for me to say 'Beluga' without wanting to break into song.

Belugalugaluga chaka lugalugaluga chaka lugalugaluga chaka

I CAN'T STOp THIS FEEELIN'

luga chaka lugalugaluga chaka

DEEP INSIIIIDE OF ME

luga chaka luga luga luga chaka
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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby Kate » Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:24 pm

Cpt._Funkotron wrote:It's impossible for me to say 'Beluga' without wanting to break into song.

Same here, but mine is a little different.

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Re: Overheard online: sundry silliness

Postby IamNotCreepy » Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:11 pm

Use "unicorn" instead of white whale.

A lot of the articles on Slate are cancer, but they have a pretty great comments section.
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