things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby Krashlia » Sat Jun 01, 2019 9:58 pm

Pedgerow wrote:Liverpool FC are playing in the Champions League final in less than an hour, so this is probably my last chance to post this career-endingly offensive masterpiece:
predator handshake liverpool.jpg


English Sports Mobs are homing in on your location. Your government of residence would like you to stay right where you are.
Good day and Godspeed.
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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby Krashlia » Sat Jun 08, 2019 6:24 am

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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby iMURDAu » Fri Jun 14, 2019 11:43 pm

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“This is going to become a bad meme,” Todd observed.
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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Wed Jun 26, 2019 8:33 am

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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby Krashlia » Wed Jun 26, 2019 4:53 pm

Deathclaw_Puncher wrote:
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Huh... I always suspected that there was something going on with Erika and Ephraim.
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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby DanteHoratio » Fri Jul 12, 2019 4:05 pm

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"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself." -Mark Twain

"I couldn't live a week without a private library - indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess." -HP Lovecraft
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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby jbobsully11 » Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:47 am

Here's a comic from The New Yorker, set in a hospital:

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Crimson847 wrote:In other words, transgender-friendly privacy laws don't molest people, people molest people.

(Presumably, the only way to stop a bad guy with a transgender-friendly privacy law is a good guy with a transgender-friendly privacy law, and thus transgender-friendly privacy law rights need to be enshrined in the Constitution as well)
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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby DanteHoratio » Fri Jul 19, 2019 10:15 pm

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"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself." -Mark Twain

"I couldn't live a week without a private library - indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess." -HP Lovecraft
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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby DanteHoratio » Mon Jul 29, 2019 3:54 pm

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"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself." -Mark Twain

"I couldn't live a week without a private library - indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess." -HP Lovecraft
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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby cmsellers » Sun Sep 22, 2019 9:54 pm

So, I've been reading r/darkjokes. The mods seem to be actively trying to destroy the sub, and even among the top posts, it seems like half the posters don't understand the difference between "dark humor" and "shock value." Still, I found a lot of gems: jokes that made me laugh and feel horrifically guilty at the same time. As such, I need to share both experiences with y'all. I was going to make one post, but I collected literally dozens of jokes, so I'll break it into multiple posts, probably three.

I feel bad for Anne Frank
First she gets her diary published which is every teenage girl's worst nightmare.
Then she doesn’t make any money from it which is every Jew's worst nightmare.

My Teacher won't let me bring my mp3 to school.
Guess I'm bringing my mp5 instead.

What's the worst part about being a gay retard?
Not being able to think straight.

Adolph Hitler is a better person than Jesus Christ
Jesus gave 12 Jews bread, while Hitler made 6 million Jews toast

My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a queen
But she's French, so I chopped her head off

So a man asks his doctor for birth control for his 8 year old daughter
Doctor: Your daughter is only 8 years old how could she be sexually active!?
Man: I wouldn't call it sexually active. She usually just sits there and cries.

Why should you fear white people in prison more than the blacks?
Because you know that whites actually did something to end up there.

I donated some money to an LGBT charity the other day
I really hope they can raise enough money to find a cure

My girlfriend is a porn star.
She will kill me if she finds out.

Whats the difference between a pistol and a penis?
A child won't cry when the pistol goes off in his mouth.

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do.
We do it in schools, because we have class.

I think Jesus is black ...
Because he is our Father and still hasn't come back yet.

What's the difference between a car windshield and puberty?
I'd still fuck someone that's gone through a car windshield.

It is interesting how different nations have different sounds for dogs.
An American dog goes woof, a Czech dog goes haf, a Dutch dog goes blaf and a Chinese dog goes sizzle.

Why is there no fat people in Japan?
Last time they had a Fat Man 80,000 people died.

A kid asks his mom "Why am I getting Christmas presents in July?"
The mom replies: "Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy"

What's the difference between science and religion?
One builds planes and skyscrapers; the other brings them together.

Why is it taboo to make mass shooting jokes in the US?
It's always too soon


Her: Come over.
Me: I can’t. I’m about to be arrested for double homicide.
Her: Haha. My parents aren’t home.
Me: Yeah, about that...

One day Usain Bolt goes to a country club.
When he enters, the woman at the front desk stops him, and says, "Sorry, we don't allow blacks in here. But there's another club 10 minutes down the road that does."
Visibly furious, Bolt exclaims, "Do you know who I am? I'm Usain Bolt!"
"Oh! I'm sorry," says the woman. "Then it's only 5 minutes down the road."
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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby cmsellers » Mon Sep 23, 2019 5:43 pm

More, and at this rate, it looks like I may end up making five posts, or more.

I've just published a new book about the reality of sexism and racism in society.
I made sure to use small words and include lots of pictures, so women and blacks can understand it too.

Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged with impersonating a police officer.

Why did Hitler fail chemistry?
Because he couldn't complete the final solution

I really believe that Allah is the one true god
I mean the universe started with an explosion didn't it?

Why is my penis like a toddler?
I'll beat both when I'm having a bad day, but it gets quite disappointing when they stop standing up.

It's bring your pet to school day #1
I'll bring my Colt Python

It's bring your pet to school day. #2
I saw a bunch of people bring in their dog. Which is weird, I bring mine in every day for lunch.

I called two girls ”hipsters” and got slapped.
Apparently the correct term is ”conjoined twins”

My teacher caught me masturbating in the shower
That made the class trip to Auschwitz very awkward.

Why doesn’t Santa bring presents to black people?
Because jails haven’t needed chimneys since the Holocaust

Can you kill someone by throwing a penny off of the Empire State Building?
You can if there's a Jew on the roof with you.

I wish my lawn was a 16 year old girl with low self-esteem
Because then it could cut itself

I'm fucking sick of double standards!
Santa can go into a child's room and empty his sack but when iI do it it's all tears and policemen.

It's not surprising that Germany has never won a single Gold medal in Athletics
They never could finish a race.

What was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on the 42nd floor?
The 43rd floor

How do you get a school shooting to happen at a Black school?
Call the cops

I told my son not to play Russian roulette. But you know how it is with kids...
In one ear, out the other.


Client: "Why did you have sex with her?!"
Employee: "She was just lying there naked! What else was I supposed to do?"
Client: "The autopsy! The fucking autopsy!"
Employee: "I don't tell you how to do your job; don't tell me how to do mine!"
Client: "You're the worst veterinarian of all time!"

She dropped the towel to reveal her taut, smooth stomach and pert, supple breasts. Slowly, my eyes wandered up her lithe, tanned body. Our eyes met, locked in a reciprocal gaze that seemed to last an eternity.
It was only then that I realized, "Fuck, she's spotted my peephole!"
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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby Krashlia » Wed Sep 25, 2019 11:07 am

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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby Krashlia » Tue Oct 01, 2019 10:55 pm

"No preferences are inherent and immutable."

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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby iMURDAu » Wed Oct 02, 2019 12:04 am

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“This is going to become a bad meme,” Todd observed.
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Re: things that should not be funny, but are (WILL OFFEND!)

Postby Krashlia » Sat Oct 05, 2019 7:05 am

Me: Nailing and banging chicks left and right. Busting nut in em while grabbing them tits.


The Farmer:
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