Water cooler stories

What are you playing. Hands out of your pockets!

Re: Water cooler stories

Postby SilverMaple » Mon Dec 07, 2015 2:01 am

Earlier today in Fallout 4, I was trying to make some progress in the main quest, but ended up just dicking around post-nuclear Boston to see if I could find anything interesting, as I am wont to do. I had reason to believe that I would be up against some pretty tough enemies, so I had taken Paladin Danse with me as my companion for some extra firepower (and also as a bullet/laser sponge to hide behind in the event that the shit really hit the fan). For the uninitiated, Brotherhood of Steel paladins are power armour-wearing elite soldiers, like so, and I figured he would be the best guy to take into an intense battle against the worst that the Commonwealth could throw at me.

At the moment, though, I had gotten distracted by a building off to the side of the road, and sauntered over to see whether there was any good loot to be found. When I got near, a few angry bloatflies buzzed out at me. They're basically big mutated flies, gross-looking but not much of a threat at all. I drew my pistol, knowing I could kill them easily with one bullet each, but before I could fire a shot, I heard Danse yell "Bloatflies! Take 'em out!" from next to me (I had no idea he had specific dialog for bloatflies until then, but it was kinda neat).

Instead of using his usual laser rifle, though, I saw him whip out a freaking minigun and proceed to annihilate the bloatflies in a hail of dozens of bullets. I was very confused, wondering where the heck he had gotten this gigantic gun from, but then I remembered that during the last quest I had done with him, I had looted it off of a super mutant to use for scrap later, and had given him some ammo for it in case we came across any more enemies. I hadn't actually told him to equip it, but I guess he decided that relatively weak, squishy insects were the enemies that warranted the kind of firepower that one normally uses to kill a deathclaw.

Whatever, if he wanted to waste it on bloatflies, who was I to judge? I continued on into the ruined building, but Danse decided to go around the side of it for some reason. A few seconds later, I heard him yelling again, along with the sounds of another fly attack. Figuring he had it under control, I kept moving, but was interrupted by an enormous, ground-shaking BOOM, and the sky lit up with fire.

I rushed outside as Danse proclaimed "That's how we do it in the Brotherhood!", wondering what the fuck could possibly have happened this time, and there he was, posing majestically with the minigun in front of the still-flaming wreckage of the car that had just exploded as a result of the spray of bullets. It would have made a perfect promotional image for the Brotherhood, if not for the two small bloatfly corpses on the ground.

I had gone up against much tougher enemies with him already, but that incident remains his biggest display of badassery. Never mind synths or super mutants, TIL the Brotherhood of Steel considers bloatflies the real threat to all of humanity.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby mancityfooty » Mon Dec 07, 2015 2:15 am

This is why I'll get the game.
This.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby kirant » Mon Dec 07, 2015 5:57 am

Another Fallout 4 story to add to all those here.

Not a spoiler. Just put the tags on to compress my post.

Spoiler: show
So I was exploring some (at that point) high level turf with Piper. The Sole Survivor (protagonist of Fallout 4), female in this version, decides it's a great idea to explore a tight street when a pack of Super Mutants appear on the other side. One particular enemy starts charging right at the two protagonists. I hit VATS to see what it's doing. Turns out this thing is called a Super Mutant Suicider. You don't have to tell me it's plan given that I've played Borderlands.

In my infinite wisdom, I was sprinting and out of AP to actually fire in VATS (and used it to get an idea of what was going on). Without the aid of VATS, the Sole Survivor just opens fire alongside Piper in real time. As I later learn via Google, Super Mutant Suiciders carry Mini Nukes on their arm (which are exactly as the name suggests). Hitting the nuke actually set off the bomb. But I didn't know this at the time so all the Sole Survivor sees is a Super Mutant vaporize into a mushroom cloud about 20 feet away.

But the HUD gives some alerts. Namely that the cars are about to explode due to the damage from the Mini Nuke. So the Sole Survivor and Piper hightail it out out of the area, outrunning fireballs as if out of an old action movie. All while a few Super Mutants do their best villainous henchman impression and litter the area in lead.

The Sole Survivor certainly doesn't see it but certainly hears the cars explode. A quick turn of the camera reveals no more hostiles on the map. A moment of silence, then this comment from Piper:

"That went better than expected."

If nothing else, this pretty much ensures Piper as my favourite character in the game.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby BROWNRECLUSE » Tue Dec 22, 2015 11:14 pm

Today in Fallout 4, I made my way to the Irish Pride Factory by the water (where some jerkface was breeding Mirelurks) and managed to get a Mirelurk Hunter, 3 soft shell Mirelurks, and a Mirelurk razorclaw all to chase me from the inside of the factory.

I ran from there to a nearby settlement that had been overrun with Super Mutants, and watched as they all slaughtered each other, leaving me to pick off the surviving Super Mutant and loot the place.

Aside from being pissed that I'm low on Fusion Cells, I'm feeling better about this game.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Mr.FishFace » Thu Dec 24, 2015 5:02 am

In a similar story to Brown Recluse's:

While heading towards the Glowing Sea for the first time I stumbled across a small camp ground. I ignored the ominous radiation storm and sounds of the Brotherhood fighting supermutants and continued walking through getting loot and killing ghouls. I came around to the last cabin and inside was my first Deathclaw. But due to my real life luck it was a Legendary Alpha Deathclaw and I was only maybe Level 12. Nevertheless it killed me in one shot. After respawning, I activated the nearby Protectrons and took battle to the beast. I died again. I did this Protectron strategy another two or three times before I remembered that the Brotherhood was right next door. Once I got the Deathclaw's attention I ran to the Brotherhood knights and let them take care of it. It was a brutal fight that I didn't take part in, but after the brave sacrifice of BoS Knight #2 the beast fell. It was then that I swore to join the Brotherhood of Steel since they saved my life. In a disgrace to BoS Knight #2's memory I betrayed the Brotherhood and joined the Institute because I don't remember the Brotherhood being such racist dicks in New Vegas.

Tldr: Legendary Alpha Deathclaw + Level 12= Dying a lot
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby BROWNRECLUSE » Fri Dec 25, 2015 4:27 pm

The Mysterious Stranger perk is the gift that keeps on giving.

I was having a tough time clearing out the Forged at the Ironworks (damn flamethrowers). Fortunately, I hit an amazing 7-in-a-row streak where the Mysterious Stranger kept showing up to pop a cap in dem asses.

And it makes me laugh every time. Mainly because of the music. And because it's difficult to see based on the camera angles the game uses to show the MS in, but I think he's rockin' a Tom Selleck mustache to go with that trenchcoat and fedora.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby mancityfooty » Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:19 pm

Mr.FishFace wrote:
While heading towards the Glowing Sea for the first time I stumbled across a small camp ground. I ignored the ominous radiation storm and sounds of the Brotherhood fighting supermutants and continued walking through getting loot and killing ghouls. I came around to the last cabin and inside was my first Deathclaw.


I think I found a deathclaw in that same spot. Mine wasn't legendary, though. I was able to stand on the porch and blast away with my shotgun because it couldn't seem to get to me.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Knicholas » Tue Jan 05, 2016 5:36 pm

First time playing on Highpass for TF2, I was able to flank around the Blu team as a Pyro, crit the lot of them who had just captured the control point using the Backburner (including a Heavy, who I was able to circle strafe) and recaptured the point.

It was one of the few times I made the top three scores in a game.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Delta Jim » Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:38 am

I have two stories.

Skyrim
I was on my way to do Peryite's quest (I'd already been to the shrine and was on the way to the Dwemer ruins) when a dragon attacked. I dropped it to half health and it flew off to land in an open area. I chased after it and heard it attacking something. It was near a pond, so I figured it was fighting a mudcrab. I got my axe ready to strike once the crab was dead.

Then I heard the battle-cries of an Altmer. Again, I was in the middle of The Reach. I was nowhere near any other NPCs beside the Khajiit that lives at Peryite's shrine.

I sheathed my axe and just watched the dragon murder the Thalmor Justicars (assassins looking for me). When I killed the dragon a 2nd one showed up. Fun times!


New Vegas
I was doing Cass' quest and fast traveled to a small rest area down the road from the Repconn HQ (a straight shot to the first caravan wreckage).

Quick side-note: I did Boone's quest and killed Vulpes. The Legion is PISSED.

Before we could set off a Legion hit-squad showed up. Unfortunately, there was no dragon to save me from these assassins and I was killed.

Take two: Fast Traveled to McCarren. Assassins showed up and killed me after I got to the wreckage.

Take Three: I realized that, in my 6 playthroughs of this game, I don't think I've ever used the NCR radio to call back-up (I might have used it once during the Battle of Hoover Dam, I don't remember). So I called a ranger after I arrived at the rest area. About 30 seconds later the Legion assassins attacked. I managed to beat them all and began looting the corpses.

After looting them all I suddenly hear "Ranger reporting for duty".

I didn't encounter any other dangers for the entire time I had the Ranger with me.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Knicholas » Sat Feb 27, 2016 1:25 am

I was proceeding with my Battleship assault in XCOM. I knew yhere were two Mutons ahead of me. I lined up my squad on overwatch, then chucked a grenade at where i thought they were.

I hit one. The unhurt Muton charged right into my trap. The second one tried to sneak around and flank. My assault scout jumped behind him and shot him in the back of the head.

It was cinematic.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby mancityfooty » Sat Feb 27, 2016 5:34 pm

fallout 4
So I have MacCready with me. The fifth companion so far because I'll drop you like a deuce once I do your mission and get that sweet, sweet perk from you.
The first time I tried it, I got sidetracked by a deathclaw. So, I tried again, this morning.
He was having trouble with the stairs to the elevator so I went without him. Seven gunners, an assaultron, and the two guys you came to kill.
A shotgun, laser rifle, and my .50 cal later and it's all clear. So I go back down and get him. We take the elevator back up. (surprisingly he wasn't crushed when I rode it down even though he was directly underneath). I see a highway going off in two directions and wanderlust sets in.
I wonder what's down that way?
I found a second elevator; and, looking over the edge, what do I spy with my little eye? Two deathclaws fighting each other. They both get a bullet which means I got the points when one killed the other, literally ripping it to pieces. I then finished off the wounded victor.
I reached the end of the line. Of course MacCready isn't with me, so I head back.
About 7-8 more gunners have shown up out of nowhere and reactivated the turrets that I had turned off. And another assaultron because, of course.
I read up on the mission and there were supposed to be about 10-15 gunners, but some didn't show up right away when I came up alone.


*edit instead of double post*

fallout 4 again
I fast traveled back to my home base (the first Red Rocket you come to because I am as lazy in games as real life). I finally got MacCready's perk so I was going to drop him and some stuff off. I look around, but didn't hear any visitors.
Surprise, surprise, surprise. As soon as I stand up, I hear super mutants.
That really wasn't that surprising as I've had the boys stop by for bullets and bloodletting before. The surprise was that they brought one of their suicidal guys with him.
I started aiming but the other three mutants kept getting in the way. They all went down, but I could still see the suicider coming my way.
So I ducked out the side door and figured I might have to spend a few stimpacks on some people.
(I currently have Cait, Dogmeat, Valentine, Hancock, and now MacCready hanging out)
Nobody was hurt that I could immediately see, so I'm guessing they have to be an active follower for them to need aid.
I'm standing in the doorway looting corpses when someone in power armor barges past.
Great, some BOS jerk must have herded them my way.
So I catch up to see what their name is. As I get close, I see that it's Valentine. In one of the four power armor suits I have there.

And I ran into another Mirelurk Queen and my first Behemoth. I called in artillery on the queen, but I must have not thrown the smoke grenade far enough because they started shelling the boat I was in.
*equips Fat Man*
One shot, all problems solved.
The Behemoth was the same. I came across him while he was in a gully and I was on a hill above. He got busy throwing rocks and I got busy loading up another mini nuke.
I've never had much use for the heavier weapons in the other two games I've played, but this was twice in about an hour's worth of playtime today.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Knicholas » Thu Mar 10, 2016 4:02 pm

TF2 again last night. I played Nucleus for the first time in a while as Pyro. My best moment was facing down a Phlogistinator Pyro in mid-taunt, and blasting him backwards into the pit. I hate Phlog Pyros.

I also set a spy on fire on the catwalk. He immediately went down, but I gave a quick airblast as well, sending an invisible burning form over the side. Turned out he had a dead ringer. Didn't help him much. I also accidentally blasted a Heavy onto the roof, overlooking the capture point. Oops.

Got the top score, that time.

I just started playing Aurora 4X, the Dwarf Fortress of space games. So far, I have not even been able to figure out how to send a spaceship out of orbit.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Marcuse » Mon Mar 21, 2016 7:12 pm

Yesterday, I killed a hagraven with an iron dagger. At level 3. While diseased and exhausted. On expert mode.

Welcome to the adventures of the unluckiest Argonian in Skyrim. I've recently installed the alternate start mod, and after playing with the settings for a bit (just try surviving the shipwreck one with Frostfall on) I made myself an unassuming lizardman and told Mara to "surprise me".

I generated the warlock's thrall start, so I was thrown into a cave with a set of robes, a decent magic resistance ring, and nothing else. No gold, no food, nothing. Stopping only to grab a couple of seared slaughterfish and a few apples, I fled the soon-to-be-dangerous cave. I snaffled the kills of a few hunters and gathered enough fur to be able to make a little fur armour and a cloak to keep me from freezing to death, though the Rift isn't that bad for exposure usually. I nearly died to wolves several times (remember, no weapon but an iron dagger, and level 1), and finally tired enough that I decided to find a place to sleep.

I stumbled upon Snapleg burrow as night fell. Night in my Skyrim is nothing to fuck with, especially when you have no source of light to rely on. I stole into the burrow expecting something nasty, those severed goat heads on spikes looked ominous. But Forsworn and tribal caves often have tents with beds, and fatigue is nothing to mess with, especially when you got an illness from those wolves.

I sneak up and stab the first witch, who promptly alerts her companion, who nearly freezes me solid. Thank goodness for that magic resistance ring! Having killed and looted them, I look around, and find a freaking staff of paralysis lying on the ground. Hot damn that's useful!

Now armed a little better, and having not yet found a bed, I continue further, hoping for a place to sleep. Spiders, why is it always spiders? In utter pitch darkness, I have to spot them by the glint of saliva on their jaws. Yeah, that's about as fun as it sounds. But at least a sneak attack kills them in one his, unlike the giant massive one I walked nearly into!

Running from that monstrosity, I have to hide in side cave, whereupon I'm informed I've caught another disease from the brackish water I drank to keep my thirst down. Shit. I wait for my health to regen naturally, because I popped my Histskin already to kill the witches, clever me. I take out a lone witch in the next room by sneak attacking her then paralysing her when she turns. Works, but I've only got about 4 shots with this thing before it flakes out on me. I'm also now "very tired".

I creep slowly into the final room. There's a spriggan in a cage, standing bolt upright like freaking Hannibal Lecter. There's also a witch, and a hagraven. Oh wonderful. A giant spider behind me, and a hagraven in front of me. I have to kill one of them or my time in Skyrim ends pretty quickly. Casting around, I spot a corpse in the water nearby. It's a dead conjurer, who was carrying five incendiary grenades. Score.

I manage to sneak up to the cage (at level 3, I've put one perk into sneak and one into one handed) and unlock it. I then turn and lob all five of the grenades at the hag, nearly killing the witch and damaging the hag a bit. The spriggan goes mental and starts attacking the hag, who thankfully doesn't immediately kill me with fireballs but decides that fisticuffs with a spriggan is a neat diversion. I gut the witch while they're occupied, and gradually chip away at the hag too. I actually end up finishing the hag off with my puny dagger, which made me laugh harder than maybe it should have. The spriggan buggered off immediately, leaving me alone in the cave, diseased (I got Brain Rot from the hagraven), tired, and in possession of far too many hagraven feathers and claws.

I never found a bed in there. I walked another 5 minutes up the road and found the neutral Nilheim full of food, fires and beds...
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Anglerphobe » Mon Mar 21, 2016 10:35 pm

Ah, Nilheim. I remember visiting that place with my sneak thief khajiit (no warrior skills whatsoever, only assassin's blade and enchantments to see me through battles). I entered, pursued by a bear, and badly wounded. The situation was pretty dire, but I was relieved to hear feisty cries up ahead.

I passed a man in a red coat, who wielded a swish looking dwarven bow with matching arrows against my assailant. He was a deadeye with it, too, hitting the thing three or four times as it chased me around and eventually landing a fatal shot. With my lack of combat skills, I would have been doomed without him.

I returned to congratulate my saviour as he strolled back to the bridge, and was surprised to see him suddenly drop to the ground as if injured. I suppose adrenaline can cause delayed reactions to injury, and Bethesda games are famously buggy, so I continued without a second thought.

When I approached him, he looked up at me and spun some story about being attacked by bandits and in need of my help. Now I'm not the canniest man in the world, but I did notice some inconsistencies. They stole your cart of vegetables, but left your extremely expensive high level weapon? Which you just leapt up with and used to shoot down a bear? Also, I happen to be a medievalist and a word puzzle enthusiast, so don't think it escaped my notice that your name is "varlet" spelled backwards, motherfucker.

Smelling a rather pungent rat, I scouted around across the bridge. The camp, as anyone who has played that sidequest will know, is the site of a bandit ambush. Fortunately, they seemed to be following their friend's strategy of maintaining a ridiculously flimsy pretense of not being about rob me, until the opportune moment.

Of course I had to punish their hubris, and their incompetence. I chose to do so with my shiny new perk, which allowed me to take their swords off their belts while they weren't looking, and dump them all in the conveniently placed river.

That done, I strolled back across the bridge and approached "Telrav". After quickly swiping his fancy arrows and replacing them with some consoled up "practice arrows" which do no damage, I chirpily took him up on his offer, and escorted him back to his friends.
With my weakness in combat, even an unarmed mob of bandits could be a problem, so I had to stack the deck just a bit further by equipping "Telrav's" dwarven arrows with my best bow.

Needless to say, it was absolutely hilarious. When the cries of "Hah, we tricked you right good!" rang out, they all raised their bare hands and jogged over to try to punch me to death. Eventually, "Telrav" was the last man standing, impotently twanging harmless arrows at me as I advanced with my sword. He begged for his life, in the final moments.

I'd have dropped some witty one-liner, but with the prior evidence in mind, I thought it would probably be wasted on him.
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"Tusser, they tell me, when thou wert alive,
Thou, teaching thrift, thyselfe couldst never thrive.
So, like the whetstone, many men are wont
To sharpen others, when themselves are blunt."

Don't you dare go Hollow.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Cobra-D » Wed May 04, 2016 7:33 pm

So lately I've been playing a lot of Rainbow Six Siege and been trying to learn how to edit videos again cause it's on my resume that I know how to do that and thought it would be a good idea to acually know how.

So I was able to edit together some moments where I didn't suck completely:



I won't ask you to like and subscribe cause I dont really care but secretly hope you do.....
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