Water cooler stories

What are you playing. Hands out of your pockets!

Re: Water cooler stories

Postby mancityfooty » Thu Apr 19, 2018 1:28 am

Joplin woman's son is going to be 13? I think.
he's way jealous of me for GTA5 and Fallout.
constantly wanting to play the games for the gore and the blood and the violence...yeah.
Skyrim is on sale and at redbox.
there's a lot of talk between me and the woman. no, no nudity. no sex. and the death cutscenes aren't too bad. ok, at least not as bad as another game he plays that shows the damage the bullet did.
so he rents it for three days. two days left on the sale, I tell him you have that time to figure out if you like it or not.
he picks Khajit, like I have.
but he can't stop wanting a horse. why?
that night and the next morning I was there, so many yells from the living room where the xbox 1 is, "hey___, look at this!"
"hey, ____, I need help!"
he literally sold all his stuff at the first blacksmith on the first mission after the dragon and the daughter laughed at him and said "you're naked!"
and he'd steal stuff. and then just attack everyone. no dude, there are consequences.
I watched him play and had to keep pointing out all the chests he was missing because he ran through caves and dungeons like it was a race.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Tue May 15, 2018 6:22 am

I found a potentially good way to farm caps in Fallout 4 Using the Wacky Wasteland Weapons Workshop mod. Take a wacky flamer, change the receiver to harpoon flechettes and the ammo type to harpoons, add poison and plasma damage, and it will generate a lot more harpoons than you fired, which you can sell for caps. This is most likely due to the incendiary and poison effects being registered as continuous, full-body damage, so it recognizes each hit as at least six retrievable harpoons plus a harpoon left over per hit.
Seriously, I took out a deathclaw with six shots the other day yet looted 89 harpoons from its corpse. I'm up to like, 700 harpoons now. Fear me, for I am the Harpoon Queen!
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Mon May 28, 2018 7:42 am

So, I was constructing some plots from a third party Sim Settlements add-on at the Red Rocket Truck stop when a "Sunny Pizza" shop sprang up. On the front of the pizza parlor there is a sign featuring the usual wastelander fare: molerat, brahmin, cat, etc, but there are two pizzas on the menu that stuck out: raider and jet. So, cannibalism is an option, as is melted plastic and fertilizer. Wastelanders are weird, y'all.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:14 am

So, I was trying to get the 3rd overseer journal entry in Morganville for the past couple of days, but the feral ghouls are pretty op in 76 due to survival mode essentially being the default and I had neglected the crafting in favor of exploration. So, I finally took the initiative to craft weapons and spent 11 caps to respawn at the overseer's camp so I could get to the area just before Bradford where that's a sidequest. I crafted some armor, but then ended up getting parasites from a radroach, which rapidly depleted my food meter. Thus, which half my AP capped from extreme hunger, I was no match for the scorched and ticks. So I respawned at Morganville High, grabbed the holotape, and ran out only to get shot in the head by a supermutant, because, as it turns out, passing that third checkpoint is what gets those vault 87 mutants to start spawning in the game.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby SandTea » Tue Nov 20, 2018 4:05 am

Reading just this page, I think I'm having a stroke. Those are technically words but I can't make heads or tails.

Anyway, red dead 2 amIright!
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Anglerphobe » Tue Dec 04, 2018 8:05 pm

I had some urge to return to the land of Skyrim this weekend, while keeping myself awake to watch people punch each other at opposite sides of the IDL. After floundering with the controls for a while, I ended up taking some radiant missions around Whiterun.
One of them was from Amren, the retired mercenary with the bratty daughter, who wanted me to retrieve his family's sword from a bandit lair because his wife wouldn't let him go. He told me the sword was being kept in a bandit hideout in an abandoned mine across the plains to the north of the city. When I got there, I had some difficulty with the number of bandits guarding the front entrance because my character was not very powerful and I had lost my touch for this game. First time, they chased me off with the loss of only one of their own, nearly killing me. Instead of fighting them head on, I decided to sneak around and pick off the mages and archers from a distance with arrows before attacking again.
The terrain around the mine is very uneven, making it quite hard to get a good angle to shoot at the bandits inside the camp, especially as there are two front entrances for them to come pouring out of when they realise they are under attack. I crept around the perimeter of the camp, looking for rocks to climb for better shots. Eventually, while scrambling for cover after a successful arrow, I fell off one of these and ended up in a pit lined with bloody stakes. The bandits (as I had completely forgotten) had turned one of the old mineshafts into a fall trap for catching mammoths. There was a tunnel connecting the pile of bodies I had landed on to the main excavation where the bandits had set up shop. A back entrance.
What I had not forgotten about was the giant shitstorm of dangers inside the camp, with a powerful bandit chief, his cronies, oil traps, and a swinging pendulum trap. My character was about level 5. Fighting was absolutely out of the question. So, instead, I Die Harded the shit out of it.
I unequipped all of my armour, and crept through the entire dungeon. It was intense. Skyrim is surprisingly fun when played as a stealth game. Getting to the sword (kept in a chest on a walkway blocked by the chief, who would probably one-shot me) and back to a dark corner was an exercise in misdirection and timing, pickpocketing the key to escape from one the heavily armed bandits while they were searching for me was about as tense as anything I can remember doing in this game.
When I got through the gate and made the final run to the surface, I had to get past the bandits guarding the front. I managed to sneak for a bit until being spotted and forced to cheese it like I had never cheesed before, running up the stairs and leaping off their makeshift ramparts dodging arrows and spells and then running off across the plains in a loincloth.

Not bad, Skyrim. Still fun after all this time.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby NathanLoiselle » Wed Dec 05, 2018 1:11 am

I was quite the assassin in Skyrim. I sucked at pickpocketing but backstabbing and sneaking were pretty much par for the course for me.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Malfeasinator » Mon Jan 07, 2019 5:58 pm

These won't matter but to some old school RPG players.

I dug up some old games. Played Dragon Warrior 3 for NES. That's probably the best one on the NES. 4 Has a decent story, but 3 is more fun to play for some weird reason. You have more control over party dynamics and you have some freedom in what to do once you get the ship. I think that might be why it's more fun.

One of the great things people who play this game argue about a lot is "what's the BEST party?" On the remakes it's different - classes get buffs, new mechanics are introduced like "personality" and so on, and weapons and armor get redone in the game, so the remakes on GBC or SNES (the English language emulator patch took YEARS) are a lot easier. The SNES version is eye candy, though.

But on the NES, and in the other versions, the party composition argument gets complicated because you can class change at any point after you hit level 20. You keep half your old stats and start over in something else, and your initial level improvements kind of suck until you hit your old level again. Something like that.

It goes something like this: You have a Hero, who can't class change, who is a jack of all trades. You can pick up to 3 other people in your group. You can go Solo if you want; it's a lot harder, but you can powerlevel easier since you don't share experience with a team that way.

The problem with the Solo Hero journey is that some bosses get regeneration, and any kind of Numb status is a considered a party wipe on just the one guy.

It's a lot easier in the remake versions to go Solo because they added weapons that can target multiple enemies. On the NES, only magic can do that.

Some enemies can even call for reinforcements. If you're by yourself, and you're only killing one enemy, and they're calling at least one more every round, you might be donezo. It's hard to run with more enemies and it's hard to finish them all off if you can only take one out at a time.

So I did the logical thing and went with a 2 person party. Hero and a Soldier.

I thought I was going to have a hard time, but I never did. I still racked up 2X the experience of a normal group. I didn't have to babysit a low level Wizard or anything like that. I always did enough damage to more than cover any boss regeneration. It was... oddly satisfying.

I had fun with that but I wanted to see if there was an even better way. So I went with a Hero and 3 Fighters next. Fighters are kind of like the Black Belt or Monk type jobs from FF games. They don't get much in the way of equipment, but they are FAST and get a lot of critical hits.

That team somehow worked out a lot better. Every round felt like a pre-emptive attack. My Hero had equipment to boost his speed, so all 4 of us almost always went first. There was a tough boss that normally required a lot of healing and buffs and debuffs and so on - with Hero and 3 Fighters, I killed it in 2 rounds, with lower levels than my typical "standard" party, and all we did was attack. The boss only got to attack ONCE. I almost felt sorry for it.

It was ridiculous. After like 20 some years of playing the game, I'd finally found the Easy button.

It went against everything I thought about how to put a group together. You need a well-balanced-- NOPE. You need healing - NOPE. You need some strong attack spells just in case NOPE. You need a tank to-- NOPE. It turns out you just need to hit first and have a high rate of critical hits, and the rest will work itself out.

You need to change classes to make the most of - NOPE. Just leave them how they are. Set and forget.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby IamNotCreepy » Mon Jan 07, 2019 7:29 pm

So I played Shadow of Mordor pretty extensively. In it, there's a complex system where you defeat Orcs and Orc captains, leading up to the Warchiefs.

Well, I was defeated once by this Orc, Zog the Elder. This made him my Nemesis. I then promptly sought him back out to get revenge. Instead of killing him, though, I decided to make his life hell. Once I beat him I was able to use him to send a death threat to one of the Warchiefs.

Sending a death threat makes the Warchief stronger, but it gives you a better reward when you kill him. Naturally, I followed through on my threat and killed the Warchief, but there were still three of them left. So, I continued to seek out Zog, defeat him, then use him to send my death threats. I made him my bitch.

After the Warchiefs had been defeated, I finally brought the sweet release of death to him. But not for long. You see, at the end of the game, you get attacked by your greatest Nemesis. They had stitched Zog back together with bandages all over his face, and he was now much stronger, and angry as hell.

By this time in the game, you have the ability to dominate and recruit orcs. So of course, I decided to recruit this scary-looking, high-powered motherfucker onto my team.

Now, Shadow of Mordor has a sequel, Shadow of War. In it, you can actually bring your most loyal follower with you from the previous game. So of course, here comes Zog the Elder. He made a great bodyguard (except for that time he tried to betray me, and I had to hunt him down and dominate him again), but towards the end of the game he was not quite at as high of a level to orcs I was fighting.

One way to power up your followers is by sending them to fight in the fighting pits against another orc captain. I piled on upgrades and special abilities to make sure he had every advantage possible.

And ... he blew it. He should have been easily able to take down his opponent, but he just stood around not attacking. Idiot. If he cheats death again I am going to torture him again so badly.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Malfeasinator » Tue Mar 19, 2019 8:37 am

I had some uh, computer issues.

Had to reinstall Windows 10. A lot of stuff got taken out in the process. Firefox went bye-bye. Bookmarks are gone. Even my stuff on Steam was gone, along with Steam itself.

In the process of getting some things back, I had to think about what I even wanted back. I decided to just let some things go for a while. I don't play Portal or Portal 2, really.

But I brought back Skyrim. I had a lot of fond memories with it.

Here are some of them, in visual form.

https://imgur.com/a/2ejCh9f

edit: Another game I have been playing lately is Pocket Mortys. It's Pokemon but Rick and Morty flavored.

You only get 5 Mortys instead of 6 in your team, but it's not a problem.

Multiplayer is incredibly frustrating, though. People do NOT WANT TO LOSE. They'll go to great lengths to NOT LOSE but they won't get good enough to win.

They tend to exit the game a lot, just when you're about to win. Or they use the Mr. Meseeks boxes on you, a lot. They're kind of rare, and they can take out any Morty in one hit. I have had people use 2 of them on me in a match before, and I still came back for the win when that happened.

I mean you only get like 1 of those a day, and they're blowing them on me left and right because they don't want to get beat.

But all that doesn't bother me so much as the rage quitting. One guy challenged me, quit out, went and healed himself up because he wasn't topped off when we first fought... I thought cool, whatever. I didn't even heal myself before he challenged me again, and I was proceeding to whoop the snot out of him, and oh gee, he "left the game" again.

It takes all the joy out of playing.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Marcuse » Sat Mar 30, 2019 3:11 pm

Just look at the text box in the bottom left for confirmation of what just happened.

NWN2 Finger of Death.png
NWN2 Finger of Death.png (1.79 MiB) Viewed 9711 times
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby JamishT » Sat Apr 17, 2021 11:11 pm

I finally won a game of Civilization VI as Gilgamesh today, but the water cooler story aspect is that I played on the True Start Location Earth map, which placed my first settler and a warrior (who survived the entire game because I stuck him in a far northern city and never upgraded him) the Middle East. I then noticed that AI Persian guy started right next to me, so in three turns I moved my warrior next to the settler, declared war, captured the settler, and defeated the Persian empire before it even started.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Malfeasinator » Wed Jul 07, 2021 3:55 am

I've started playing Stardew Valley. I've played Harvest Moon games in the past, this is way better. It's the same thing in a lot of ways, just with a lot, lot, lot more to do.

We got some kind of hurricane or something or other going on outside, in the real world. I'm inside snacking and playing video games.

The water cooler part is that I'm in my first playthrough and I'm having a blast. I am not min-maxing. I'm not optimizing shit. I'm not taking anyone's advice about how to play. I'm just doing my own thing and I'm doing pretty well. This is totally the kind of game where I would normally be in some kind of rush to get as much done as I could, even though the game is open-ended and you really don't have to hurry.

I've just decided to make things bonkers and I'm doing remarkably okay. I plunk things down wherever. If I don't like it I can clean it up later. I don't get paralysis by analysis, I just pick something and run with it.
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