Water cooler stories

What are you playing. Hands out of your pockets!

Water cooler stories

Postby Overlord Moo » Sun Aug 18, 2013 11:08 pm

Everyone has their videogame story. You know the one. The time when you did something incredibly badass or everything went to tits in a spectacular way. So come, gather round the water cooler and regale us with your wonderful tales.




I was playing the second to last map of the "Blood harvest" harvest campaign in the original L4D. We were playing on normal difficulty, and were kicking huge amounts of zombified ass. About fifty feet from the safe house (which was at the end of a railroad bridge) Francis decides to turn around and head back from the house we had just cleared. It was weird, but the rest of the team assumed that he was scavenging for molotovs or something like that. After a minute or so, the guy goes even futher back to a train station about half-way through the stage. It was at this point that he got Smoker-ed (i.e pinned down by a zombie). After an exasperated sigh, Zoey runs over there to save his sorry ass. Now, as we all know, the L4D AI Director is a sadistic bastard, so it was at that precise moment that a tank (i.e Big-ass Hulk Motherfucker) spawned right behind them.

The tank runs them on a merry chase towards Louis and I. As the other two are running and gunning away from the tank, Francis makes his escape by jumping out a nearby window. Zoey, alas, was not so lucky. She was quickly pounded into the pavement before Louis and I could put down the tank. With heavy hearts at the loss of our fallen comrade, we turn to go to the safehouse. Again, when we were about fifty feet from the door, this pops across the text-chat...

"Guys, I'm stuck"

A look of confusion on my face, I wheel around to see Francis sitting in a tree. Upon further inspection, it appeared that when he jumped out the window, the poor sod clipped into a tree and couldn't get out. After about two minutes of melee striking him in a half-baked effort to release our squirrel friend, I announced that we should just kill him so that we can finish this stage. After taking about twenty bullets in the teeth, Francis chickened out at the last second. Annoyed at the lack of progress, I decided to head over to - finally - head over to the safe house. After capping the Boomer inside, I grabbed a sniper rifle and scoped my buddies, determined to provide covering fire for the inevitable horde. And, lo and behold, no sooner had I done so the "horde-incoming" music began playing.

Like a guardian angel of hot lead, I stopped the zombies charging my buddies. All three of them. Well what kind of shit horde was that I thought. The universe must have decided to punish me for my hubris at this point, because the entire rest of the horde decided to flow off the roof of the safe room and pour inside for some tasty brain salad. I barely escaped with my life.

After another minute of useless flailing, we decided to cap Francis and get on to the next bit. So, to summarize, in the span of ten or so minutes, we went from everyone alive with close to full health, to two people dead and one knock knock knockin' on death's door.

*Pours a drink*

Here's to you, guy playing Francis. You crazy, shit-for-brains bastard.
  • 17

6:54 Bert: Moo is so cool he wishes he could be someone else just so he could better understand what it is like to live in a world with Overlord Moo in it
9:46:06 PM GG If Moo goes oh my I know it means bad
<Strant> wig+wonderbra+Strant=Deeno
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby FaceTheCitizen » Sun Aug 18, 2013 11:59 pm

Team Fortress 2 on the custom map of Convoy, a capture the flag map. I was a RED Pyro heading towards one of the bridges that connects both Convoys when I encountered two BLU Soldiers and a BLUE Medic healing them both.

Oh fuck me.

One of them fired a crit rocket. I air blasted it. It deflected and killed the three of them. It was amazing.
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"Or perhaps the distinction between the two wasn’t so fine, between the man-made monster and the man made monster."- Sylvester Lambsbridge, Twig.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby CarrieVS » Mon Aug 19, 2013 12:12 am

Did I tell you about the time I got prison-raped on Minecraft?

And I wasn't even in prison. I was just visiting my intensely annoying twelve-year-old in-game roommate, who'd had a slight misunderstanding about some mushrooms.

Spoiler: show
He took some mushrooms that belonged to another player, but he said he thought they'd told him he could have them, and they said they hadn't and he was put in jail. And then a few of us went to visit him and one of them (who was most likely twelve because everyone on that server seemed to be) started doing ERP at me.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Qinglong » Mon Aug 19, 2013 1:49 am

Video games? Hah! I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged it. Thank Goodness for heroes!

I didn't write this, but I salute whatever brilliant bastard did.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Midas Burroughs » Wed Aug 21, 2013 6:28 am

I call this one Trundle's Endless Stand. I was playing League of Legends against a significantly better team. My dudes were running around aimlessly, feeding the enemy team more gold with every pointless death. My towers were falling, my team was behind and we had no chance. Except, I was playing Trundle the Troll King. See, Trundle isn't the strongest character or the tankiest or the most magical. But he's fast, sturdy enough and he gets hp whenever an enemy dies. Play him well and he's unkillable. For fifteen minutes straight, I stopped the enemies' onslaughts. My teammates respawned to help but never lasted more than a minute. I was effectively alone. Then they fell apart. Maybe it was poor itemization or just mental fatigue but my team started getting kills. Six minutes after my hopeless stand, they were crumbling. We won and my team's mage began ranting in the post game chat. The usual garbage, "you suck", "shit team" and "I won this whole thing on my own". I said, "I think I had something to do with that." The guy went quiet, said, "sorry trundle" and logged out.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby AboveGL » Wed Aug 21, 2013 10:20 am

Well, the most amusing story I have was in a game of TF2 with my brother and were on opposing sides. We were both demo men, we both launched grenades which killed us both at the same time.
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[10:11] <@JTAWAAAAAY> guys
[10:11] <@JTAWAAAAAY> I just pooped so hard I got a bloody nose
[10:11] <@JTAWAAAAAY> not joking
[10:11] <@Tesseracts> please dont make a twitter about this


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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby DashaBlade » Fri Sep 27, 2013 9:03 pm

So, I have one from just yesterday. It's not a badass story, just a mildly amusing in its appeal to my inner eight year old story.

I've been playing a lot of Sims Medieval, and in that game every time you reach a specified goal, you can create a new kingdom (so as to accomplish the next goal). I named my newest kingdom "Pure Dooky" because I've had Invader Zim stuck in my head lately.



So anyway, there's a randomly generated daily responsibility for the monarch, where you have to ask two residents how they like life in your kingdom. And sure enough, when I clicked on random townies, I got this option: "Ask About Living in Pure Dooky".

My inner eight year old was highly amused. Yep, that's medieval life for ya.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby FaceTheCitizen » Sat Sep 28, 2013 12:48 am

"Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here!"
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Blackfish » Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:03 am

So, I've been playing a Parthia game on the Extended Greek Mod of the first Rome: Total War. I've done really well against the Greek factions, even with the mod giving a lot of the units javelins, by setting my horse archers to loose formation then staying out of javelin range and watching the enemy wilt under a hail of steel-tipped rain. But then I was attacked by the Macedonians, who've been sitting on super-rich, developed Greece all game, and every one of their armies have onagers (catapults), which, turns out, is the perfect counter to my winning tactic, since the inaccurate onagers will pretty much hit something anyway, with my loose swarm of horse archers all over the place.

How do I find this out? In my very first battle against an army with onagers, my awesome faction heir, who had trekked the breadth of Asia all his life murdering my enemies against crazy odds, and had the nickname 'the Butcher' from all the cities he's stormed and sacked, takes a flaming boulder from the very first volley right in the fucking face.

Spoiler: show
Image


Whatever, I don't care. He was old anyway. These are tears of happiness.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Malfeasinator » Fri Oct 18, 2013 8:12 am

My best game stories were with friends, sometimes drinking, but always taking turns doing crazy stuff.

Goldeneye was perfect in its day for this. Get about 8 people together, and you've got a good time. It's fun just to watch other people play.

The first time I played Goldeneye, I was babysitting this like 11 year old kid. I was 17. The kid brought a friend over.

The two of them had played the hell out of this game, and I was completely in the dark. They were no help. They were merciless. With gun, without gun, they didn't care, if they saw me I was dead meat. "Hey, how do you reload?" Bullets to the face. "How do you change guns?" Bullets to the face. "How did you do that?" Bullets to the face, and then bullets on my corpse so I'd show up even redder than I was before. I'd been playing games longer than they'd been alive, and they were just destroying any self-esteem I had as a gamer.

It dawned on me that I was going to be dead no matter what I did. I could hide and I'd die because they knew the stage better than I did. They knew all the ins and outs. They knew were all the guns and ammo spots were. They knew how to get from point A to point B while I was still struggling to not face the corner and keep running in the dark like an idiot.

The only way I could play was a kind of suicidal bum rush style. Running away just meant I'd die slower, as cliche as that sounds. If I stood and fought, I'd at least have some chance.

I still died a lot, but, to my amazement, I started getting better. I learned how to strafe and dodge. I started reloading before the game made me, just so I could unload more bullets at once in those times when I really needed it. I learned to circle the enemy. I learned to be calm even when they both ganged up on me.

By the end of the night, I started winning. The kid started telling me some stuff about some homework he had to do but I was like "No. Sit down. We're not done playing." It was personal. They had tortured me, so now it was my time to torture them.

The Mom got home not long after I began feeling good about myself as a gamer again. She was pissed that her son hadn't done any of his chores or his homework. I got like 10 bucks and I was never asked to babysit again.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby Aquila89 » Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:06 am

I only have a pretty lame story, because I haven't played a video game in a long time.

So, I was playing the game Island Xtreme Stunts. I guess I was around 13, 14. I tried to complete one of the tasks for the umpteenth time, and I finally succeeded. But just as I was about to celebrate, my computer quit the game for some reason, and I couldn't save my results.

Now, I'm a person with little self-restraint. I once punched my monitor because I kept losing in anther game. But then, I wasn't angry at all. I simply said to myself: "Well, I'll do it again". I started the game, and completed the task on first try. Then I thought "Well, as long as I'm here", and I tried another ask, which I have failed to complete many times previously, and succeeded on first try.

I don't know what was that about, because it wasn't like me at all. Maybe the Spirit of the Lord was upon me on that day.
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As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby JamishT » Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:18 am

I'm not a gamer at all. Most of the time when I play Call Of Duty or some such game, my kill/death ratio is about even. So it came as a shock to my gamer friends when I was the first one to get a double headshot on Battlefield 3.

Cool story, I know.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby FaceTheCitizen » Tue Nov 05, 2013 4:56 am

Grand Theft Auto IV. I was doing one of those stupid races in single player and crashed. Deciding that racing was stupid and it would be more fun, I caused some wanton destruction. The race was still on, but I spotted an ambulance, so I took out my rocket launcher and fired it. One of the race cars drove in front of the ambulance and exploded and my view of the ambulance was blocked by smoke and fire. I thought it was destroyed in the resulting explosion, but before I could walk away to cause more wanton destruction, the ambulance sped through the smoke and fire and ran me over. Instant death.
  • 13

"Or perhaps the distinction between the two wasn’t so fine, between the man-made monster and the man made monster."- Sylvester Lambsbridge, Twig.
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby idontlivehere1122 » Sun Nov 17, 2013 9:33 pm

L4D seems to have an innate ability to create at least one epic win or fail moment each game. Probably the most epic moment I ever had was my 2nd or so MP session. The random teams fucked us over and my group ended up with every single newbie while every single 'experienced' (average players in the grand scheme of things, but compared to us...?) player ended up on the other side. We were predictably losing until my buddy got to play tank. He somehow managed to score an incredibly 4-in-one incap with a car. Since this happened really early into the current map, the other team lost a fatal amount of points. They owned us in the few remaining maps, but the damage was done, we still won by a slim margin. :D

On the other hand, losing the entire time in almost the exact fucking spot in almost exactly the same way was really embarrassing. It was the swamp map in L4D2. Theres a spot early on where you activate this river crossing and have to hold out. In hindsight, not sticking so close to the water should've been common sense even for us newbies but oh well. An opposing player charges us, taking one guy into a watery grave...then just when we're about to get on the river-lift thingy, another dude charges one of us into the water. We cross over to the other side and then the tank music hits. After a bit of ineffectual running about shooting him with our pistols, the tank swipes both of us into the water. :I
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Re: Water cooler stories

Postby iMURDAu » Mon Nov 18, 2013 2:35 am

I once slapped in a double eagle that bounced off the cart path at Sawgrass in Tiger 99 on Playstation.

Did you know most copies of that game have a cool easter egg? Put it in your pc and there's a file that can be read and played. Its "The Spirit of Christmas" which is the first South Park short.
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