Utterly depressing music

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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby Tesseracts » Wed Sep 30, 2015 4:15 pm

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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby aBagofYoughurt » Thu Oct 22, 2015 3:47 pm

Sage Francis - Make 'Em Purr



It's mainly about Sage's struggle with depression (though that could be said about the entire album), but there's also a cat almost dying.

Lars Winnerbäck - Elegi



The lyrics are in Swedish, so it might not be the most approachable song (there are meh translations available. But it's sad.
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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby Matthew Notch » Mon Nov 23, 2015 7:29 am

I mentioned elsewhere that my current nominee for Album of the Year is Amor Supremo by Carla Morrison, which Tuli showed me. Right now my favorite song on my favorite album is Vez Primera, or First Time. I found the letras on a website but Google Translate was only sort of helpful, so instead I ran them through a convenient 52xMax, and got an excellent English translation, which confirms that yes, this is a very depressing song.

The song


Letras
Ya te fuiste de mi a tu vida nueva
Con otra mujer de hecho una muy bella
Era parte del destino que siguieras tu camino
Yo mejor así
Aunque siento raro aquí

Donde palpita el corazón
Donde descansa mi pudor
Donde guardé todo mi dolor
Donde nace y muere mi amor

Tú fuiste mi vez primera
Mi beso, mi ciencia a ciegas
Te di todas mis maneras
De mi todo cedí
De ti tanto aprendí
A quererme primero a mi siempre

Fuiste esa gran etapa en mi vida
Donde mis venas a ti perseguían
Mi piel deseando olerte
Mi mente tan recurrente llora tan feliz a un ladito de ti

Contigo pasé momentos que nunca se irán de mi
Nuestra etapa fue fuerte y dura
Descubriendo la dulzura tú habitabas en mi
Y yo era tan tan feliz

Donde palpita el corazón
Donde descansa mi pudor
Donde guardé todo mi dolor
Donde nace y muere mi amor

Tú fuiste mi vez primera
Mi beso, mi ciencia a ciegas
Te di todas mis maneras
De mi todo cedí
De ti tanto aprendí

Tú fuiste mi vez primera
Mi beso, mi ciencia a ciegas
Te di todas mis maneras
De mi todo cedí
De ti tanto aprendí
A quererme primero a mi siempre

A quererme primero a mi siempre


Lyrics
You're gone from me already
went on to your new life
with another woman, a very pretty one in fact
it was part of destiny that you followed your way
it's better this way, although I feel something strange here

where the heart beats
where my modesty lies
where I stored all my pain
where my love is born and dies

You were my first time
my kiss, my blind science
I gave you all my ways
I yielded all of me
I learned so much from you
to always love myself first

You were that big phase on my life
where my veins chased you
my skin missing your smell*
my mind always going back,
and I was so happy by your side

With you I spent moments that will never leave me
our time was so powerful at finding sweetness
you inhabited me
and I was so, so happy

where the heart beats
where my modesty lies
where I stored all my pain
where my love is born and dies

You were my first time
my kiss, my blind science
I gave you all my ways
I yielded all of me
I learned so much from you
to always love myself first

to always love myself first


There were two things I wasn't clear on just from reading the Spanish in my very rusty Spanish brain: "mi beso, mi ciencia a ciegas" confused me some, because I wondered if that was a Spanish idiom, but as it turns out it's just a really good metaphor. She learned much from being with him, from their time together, that it was like she was blazing a new scientific frontier, exploring something never before seen--because in her life it hadn't been. Then the other thing was actually a misprinted lyric on the Spanish site, and Max corrected that for me too, listening to the song himself (he's quite a trooper; apparently he doesn't like her voice... but HOW) : "Mi piel deseando olerte
Mi mente tan recurrente" which literally means "my skin wishing to smell you, my mind so recurring". Max took a bit of artistic license on the translation and I applaud him for it. By the way, I gave him the wrong lyric on the following line too: "llora tan feliz a un ladito de ti", which I guessed meant that she cried with happiness just being next to him. Same sentiment, really.

Long Meandering Self serving rant
Then this lyric, I don't know, it gets me: "A quererme primero a mi siempre". It sounds like a very empowered thing to say, but I almost tend to take it as the ultimate admission of defeat, in that, well... he ended up being selfish, looking out for himself first, and she learned that from him. Which, I mean, in any relationship you have to love yourself first, you have to actually have something to offer the other person you claim to love. It's the only way you can be fair to him or her. But at the same time, when you've loved and lost, you don't want the pain of that to get in the way of any future loves you may entertain. And sometimes, when you've been hurt deeply enough, it will.

Every person you will ever love changes you in some way. I have loved so many women in my life, even if I was never in a relationship with them, but especially if I was. I can feel each one of them inside my chest, some pulling me in different directions, some making my path clearer and some clouding my vision. I wish that I had the capacity to give myself fully, and sometimes I feel like I do. Other times it seems very clear I can never just be happy with who I am and where I am and what I am. That feeling that the number one person in my life is always going to be me, and not the ones I claimed to love. Or even currently claim to love.

My first girlfriend, well okay, my second, but my first real, true blue, girlfriend, was an artist. Still is, I think. She loved Homestar Runner. We watched it for hours one night after my auntie, who was her roommate, had gone to bed, and then we kind of cuddled because it was cold, and then we kissed for the first time, and to this day I have never kissed softer lips. She also taught me something about myself: she told me I was emotionally manipulative, and she was right about that. I just... know, you know? What buttons to push and what strings to pull.

I'd like to think that if she was talking to me today, she might have a better impression of me, but honestly some years back, after I'd already married Mrs. Notch, we got to talking a lot on Facebook because she had fallen for one of my friends, was looking for some advice, and apparently thought I was the guy to offer it since I had suddenly gotten all confident. I did my best to help, but I was just as surprised as her to find out that her love interest had no interest in women. So then our conversations didn't cease, but rather turned to looking for comfort, because she was devastated. And after a while our conversations just got to a point where if something didn't change, they'd quickly become something more. So it did change. A while later I would get off of Facebook entirely (not before I made other far graver mistakes) and we haven't spoken to one another since. She's moved to Portland now. She and my wife are still friends.

So I think about that, you know? Even after we were broken up, even after she'd fallen in love with someone else and so had I, I still knew how to push her buttons, and make her happy or make her cry or make her think she'd made a mistake in letting me go all those years ago. I did all those things, some less intentionally than others, but I knew what could have happened and I did it anyway. That lyric makes me sad because I struggle with that. I want to give more of myself to my friends and family and my flawless, perfect wife, and I can't because there's always some bit of me that wants more out of them. Because I love myself over all others.

I had a moment today where I suddenly felt like no one really cared about me anywhere. I was so sure, too. I felt that, even if someone said, "You're a good man, Notch, and I always miss you when you're gone", he or she probably really felt that way, but would, in the end, be wrong. After a couple weeks no one would care. Or maybe they'd even get that premonition in their heads that things were better somehow, and they couldn't put their finger on why because it never occurred to them to even consider that it was because they didn't have to worry about my silly face anymore. That was my own hubris once again; I really don't affect people's lives that much. But I want to. I want every person I interact with in any capacity to think of me and say, "I have no other relationship like I have with Matt. He is really something special." I get jealous, sometimes, if I'm anyone less than someone's best friend of all time in the history of ever. I have to laugh about that, because neither outlook is very healthy. The treacherous heart wants what the treacherous heart wants, sometimes.

I don't know.
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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby AboveGL » Sun Dec 20, 2015 11:37 am

This Tom Waits song.

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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby Doodle Dee. Snickers » Mon Jan 04, 2016 4:08 pm

This one from one of my favorite female vocalists, even if her videos are always a little weird and she's started to sound a little generic of late:

Within Temptation - Memories

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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby Tesseracts » Sun Feb 28, 2016 9:30 pm

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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby reallifegirl » Wed Mar 02, 2016 10:45 pm

Saw this one performed live and bawled my guts out, and still can't listen to it without bawling my guts out all over again.



The last two thirds of the song are where it usually hits for me:

Two friends hooked up to hospital machines
To cure of cancer
And there is no better place than from this
Waiting room to answer

The French kid who wrote an e-mail
To the website late last night
His father raped him and he’s scared
He asked me “How do you keep fighting?"

And the truth is I don’t know
I think it’s funny that he asked me
‘Cause I don’t feel like a fighter lately
I am too unhappy

You are bigger on the inside
But your father cannot see
You need to tell someone, be strong
And somewhere some dumb rockstar truly loves you.

You’d think I’d get perspective
From my few years by the bedside
It is difficult to see the ones I love
So close to death

All their infections and procedures
And the will to live at all in question
Can I not accept that my own problems
Are so small?

You took my hand when you woke up
I had been crying in the darkness
We all die alone
But I am so, so glad
That you are here

You whispered “We are so much bigger on the inside,
You, me, everybody
Some day when you’re lying where I am
You’ll finally get it truly"

We are so much bigger
Than another one can ever see
But trying is the point of life
So don’t stop trying

Promise me.
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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby AboveGL » Mon Mar 14, 2016 3:28 am

I really enjoy what I've heard of Wolf Alice and "Blush" brings me close to tears.

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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby Grimstone » Wed Mar 16, 2016 6:01 am

Moonlight Sonata

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

^My favorite one out of these, I've listened to this cover like a dozen times since linking it on here.

A Tout Le Monde

Nothing Else Matters (LIVE)

^Skip 1:50s into the video.
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Last edited by Grimstone on Wed Mar 16, 2016 4:38 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby Tuli » Wed Mar 16, 2016 12:30 pm

Sufjan Stevens - Fourth of July


Terribly sad and beautiful. In fact, you could say that about the whole album. It's very vulnerable.

You know, the first time I heard Sufjan's music some while ago I thought it was kinda boring and decided not to investigate further. But my opinion has completely changed with this album. It makes me think about life and our humanity and in the end, what can be more important?
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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby Tesseracts » Fri Sep 09, 2016 7:03 am

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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby Grimstone » Sun Sep 11, 2016 1:19 pm

goodbye my friend
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Last edited by Grimstone on Sun Sep 18, 2016 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby Grimstone » Sun Sep 18, 2016 11:19 pm

.
Image
.
.
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream..

.
a day in the life
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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby aBagofYoughurt » Sat Sep 24, 2016 10:30 am

AboveGL wrote:This Tom Waits song.



In the spirit of Tom Waits, I'll add this one:

The Fall of Troy


Lyrics:
Spoiler: show
It's the same with men as with horses and dogs
Nothing wants to die
Evelyn James they killed in a game
With guns too big for their hands
Just off St. Charles in No-Mans Land
And you'll have to find your own way home, boys
You'll have to find your own way home

The oldest was Troy, an eighteen year-old boy
Shot dead in March with a robbery
His brother started out to hell and to ruin
Troy's killer was never caught they say
Young nick he just went bad that day
Now he'll have to find his own way home, boys
He'll have to find his own way home

Why cook dinner?
Why make my bed?
Why come home at all?
Out the door and through the woods
There is a world where nothing grows

It's hard to say grace and to sit in the place
Of someone missing at the table
Mom's hair sprayed tight
And her face in her hands
Watching TV for answers to me
After all she's only human
And she's trying to find her own way home, boys
She's trying to find her own way home

My legs ache
My heart is sore
The well is full of pennies
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Re: Utterly depressing music

Postby mancityfooty » Sat Sep 24, 2016 8:59 pm


The lyrics have political overtones, but for some reason, this song just ripped me up the last few weeks.
And you know what?
I kept hitting replay over and over again.
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