Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

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Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby KleinerKiller » Tue Dec 11, 2018 8:29 pm

! CURSED IMAGE !

Image

Yes, that is the real first poster for the very real Sonic the Hedgehog live-action film that's been in development for a while. It is not a hoax or a joke. It is official. Someone thought it was okay.

Look... look at his weird buff thighs. Look at human proportions and bare human hands, yet strangely chimpanzee-like arms. Look at his disproportionately huge and bizarrely-shaped head. He looks like a tiny naked man in a Sonic mask and running shoes, and for once in a lifetime, every sick and depraved side of the Sonic fandom is united in revulsion over it.

I imagine looking at this thing in full light in the next teaser will be something like an internet-wide The Colour Out of Space.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby iMURDAu » Wed Dec 12, 2018 1:07 am

And where is your character design and script since you seem to think you can do so much better?

He's got to be buff to run fast. It's not like he can just do 100 sit ups and push ups and gain strength without muscle mass. This is serious. It's live action Sonic, not some silly anime. Ah I can't keep it up any more Sega would be better off just making a live action Etrian Odyssey film and pissing off that fanbase. There's no point to a Sonic movie. Nobody cares. It isn't 1993.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby JamishT » Wed Dec 12, 2018 7:47 am

I was looking for a specific meme, but I found far more related ones that I enjoyed just as much.

The one I was looking for:
Image
(that's a color-shifted Gritty the mascot)

The others:
Image

Image

Image
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby KleinerKiller » Tue Mar 05, 2019 2:34 am

THE ABYSS HATH FINALLY GAZED BACK

Image

It's not quite as truly, abjectly horrifying as the posters made it out to be, to my slight dismay. But it's still HORRIBLE and weird and wrong in some fundamental ways, and also the fact that his shoes have been exchanged for licensed Nikes indicates that we're going to see him running barefoot at some point (he's got to acquire them in the human world, after all) and I don't think my heart can handle that.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby iMURDAu » Tue Mar 05, 2019 5:35 pm

It's like someone at Sega came across the Super Mario Bros. movie and is still looking for someone to hold their beer.

I can't wait to see the two tailed fox rendering.

That's sarcasm, btw.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby Marcuse » Tue Mar 05, 2019 8:44 pm

It's fucking horrific.

Why would he have little spines everywhere like that? The whole point of the blue spines was supposed to be that his smaller brown spines fused together when he ran supersonic speeds. I'm sure it was also a technical limitation at the time but why go back and reinvent Sonic as a hideous furry's wet dream?
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby NathanLoiselle » Wed Mar 06, 2019 3:23 am

I stared into the abyss, and Sonic the Hedgehog stared back.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby KleinerKiller » Tue Apr 30, 2019 11:53 pm

Yog-Sonic knows the gate. Yog-Sonic is the gate. Yog-Sonic is the key and guardian of the gate. Past, present, future, all are one in Yog-Sonic.

Check this F U C K I N G trailer out.



Sonic is even more horrible in motion. He has human teeth. His face looks badly photoshopped every time someone tries to screencap it.

"Gangsta's Paradise" has nothing to do with anything in the trailer, could not fit less with the tone, and has clearly been slotted in as a halfwit attempt at nostalgia-baiting.

Jim Carrey is not playing Robotnik. Jim Carrey is playing Jim Carrey playing a porn parody costume of Robotnik.

Sonic drums some missiles because XTREEEEEEME

God turns his back on us.

The hedge is on the edge.

We are the dead.

We are the dead.

We are the dead.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby gisambards » Wed May 01, 2019 5:44 am

I think they might actually be intentionally marketing this as so bad you have to watch it. I doubt that was their original plan for the film, because the footage doesn't seem to have any irony to it at all, but I think that trailer was edited in such a way that they must have seen the internet backlash to the original images, realised the movie really is as stupid as people are expecting it to be, and they're now trying to market it on the back of that. I'll be honest, that trailer really makes me think it might be worth going to watch it with friends.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby NathanLoiselle » Wed May 01, 2019 2:58 pm

This movie appears so bad that I'm not going to even CONSIDER pirating it.


Remember kids, pirating is bad. Unless you're a rum and gold type pirate. Then it's arrrr-right.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby Tesseracts » Wed May 01, 2019 3:35 pm

Here is my top 10 list of things wrong with this trailer.

10. Sonic is ugly and Robotnik comes off as cool. This makes it look like Robotnik is the good guy trying to save the world from this movie.

9. Sonic can out run missiles but not a tranquilizer dart.

8. Jim Carrey is a decent performer but he plays the same character in EVERY movie. He does not come off as the character of Robotnik. Also being evil turns his hair red for some reason.

7. Sonic says he has to save their planet. This implies Sonic is an alien. I suppose this would explain why he inhabits a world with no beings like himself, but it's stupid. I would prefer a world like Detective Pikachu where Sonics and humans live together.

6. The original Sonic games contained a sort of environmentalist message. Robotnik turned animals into robots, and by defeating the robots, instead of simply exploding they released little birds and animals held captive inside. In the cartoon he is shown to have a machine that threatens to turn the protagonists into robots as well. Here, the robots are just generic weapons which is boring. Robotnik has no motive other than to capture Sonic, which reduces him down to a Team Rocket tier villain.

5. There are no chaos emeralds. In fact other than rings there is nothing making it clear this is the Sonic universe. And rather than using the rings as a source of energy, he uses them as... magic portals? What the fuck?

4. Teeth.

3. Sonic looks WEIRD without any clothing. All he wears is shoes. Of course this is Sonic's original design, but as a cartoon it doesn't look weird. Since he looks like a human in a Sonic costume, it looks WEIRD and PERVERTED.

2. Gangta's Paradise is a song about being a gangster. It doesn't belong at all. Sonic has a rich history of music to choose from, they don't have to get the rights to this song. As far as I'm concerned they should have used this. Or if they want something more mainstream at least pick something that fits the tone of the movie. For example Detective Pikachu choose the song "I Need a Hero."

1. Sonic is not an electric type.

I think they might actually be intentionally marketing this as so bad you have to watch it. I doubt that was their original plan for the film, because the footage doesn't seem to have any irony to it at all, but I think that trailer was edited in such a way that they must have seen the internet backlash to the original images, realised the movie really is as stupid as people are expecting it to be, and they're now trying to market it on the back of that. I'll be honest, that trailer really makes me think it might be worth going to watch it with friends.

I think you might be right. At the start of the trailer he says "gotta go fast" which it a phrase that has become an ironic meme. My guess is they are going to lay on the irony pretty thick but it probably won't be as clever as they want it to be.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby iMURDAu » Wed May 01, 2019 3:39 pm

I heard they used Gangsta's Paradise in the trailer so I immediately went to youtube and marked it as "not interested".

Btw, where's the outrage from Coolio? He got butthurt over Weird Al but the Sanic movie is okay to use his art?
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby NathanLoiselle » Wed May 01, 2019 5:48 pm

It's clear that the song they should have used was Kenny Loggins - Highway to the Danger Zone



Not only was this song a cop-out for Loggins who does much mellower music in real life. But it's all about going fast which is what Sonic supposedly does when he's not busy masturbating. Yeah, I put that out there.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby Delta Jim » Wed May 01, 2019 10:56 pm

Tesseracts wrote:2. Gangta's Paradise is a song about being a gangster. It doesn't belong at all. Sonic has a rich history of music to choose from, they don't have to get the rights to this song.


And yet JoJo's Part 5, which is about gangsters and has a history of using popular music from the west for the end credits (which, as a result, causes a spike in the song's popularity and, often, a boost to the artist's own popularity), couldn't get the song ("Modern Crusaders" is a jam though, and "Freek n' You" grew on me).

As for my own thoughts:

I only watched part of the trailer (it came on before a YouTube video I was watching). I hit "Skip Ad" at the part after he creates an EMP and knocks out power to the northwestern US. Then I got sad when I thought about how much better this film would be if it was about Eggman trying to stop a mutant hedgehog from wreaking havoc on the world.

Also...
Image

This person clearly underestimates the Sonic fandom.
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Re: Peer into the abyss: the live-action Sonic movie

Postby KleinerKiller » Thu May 02, 2019 11:39 pm

Apparently they're now trying to redesign Sonic in the half a year before this releases, because of, uh, well, the biggest PR nightmare for a video game movie ever.



I can't foresee this going well. Even if they just decide to lean into the normal Sonic design as many photoshops have proven would work better, they still have to draw up and agree upon concept art that will work for the movie, overhaul all of his CGI practically from scratch, and possibly even redo a lot of Ben Schwartz' facial capture so it fits onto the new face. And I have to imagine there's also agreements to work out with toy companies and the like, who may have already started work on the merchandise storm for this version of Sonic. All in the space of about 6-7 months, and all only if Paramount feels like dumping a boatload more money that they absolutely, 100% will not make back in the box office.

TL;DR: If it even happens, I almost hope it turns out even more laughable in the rush, because I've been loving every new piece of info about this garbage fire.
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