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Silliest Crap Banned in Modern Schools
By FaceTheCitizen | 30th May, 2013 | 4:24 pm

It's not common for schools to ban things they feel may harm students. After all, schools have to protect their students from firecrackers and harmful chemicals while they are being taught how to create said harmful chemicals in chemistry class. Sometimes though, what schools ban their students from bringing or doing can be quite ridiculous.

1) Hugs

A student in a North Carolina school was hospitalized due to a seizure. Upon his return, his fellow classmates greeted him with hugs. The assistant principal saw this, and instantly proclaimed on high, "Homie don't play that shit," went to the lunchroom with a megaphone, and announced that hugging was no longer acceptable in the school. Apparently, he wanted to meet his douche quota.


Meanwhile, in New Zealand, hugging has been banned from a school because students kept arriving late to class, due to excessive hugging. Apparently, the children would make sure to hug everyone they knew, every freaking morning. As a result, they would arrive ten to fifteen minutes late.

2) Meep

Schools have tried to prevent students from using certain words since the beginning of words, and school. Sometimes, those attempts get a bit crazy. The "Great Boner War of 1985" was fairly brutal, and we have only Growing Pains to blame.

A principal of a Massachusetts school has banned a four letter word. Not that four letter word, another: meep. The principal, obviously a supporter of Wile E. Coyote, made using the word grounds for suspension.

Principal Thomas Murray's number one fan.

Parents received automated calls from the high school, informing them that the nonsense, meaningless word was banned from school grounds. This may not sound so bad, but the principal sent e-mails containing the word to the police, including an e-mail sent by a lawyer. The e-mails contained the word "meep" in response to the ban.

By the way, the word is meaningless.

3) Red Ink

Remember when you were a kid, and got sad because you got a bad grade? What made you sad?

1) The bad grade
2) Your own self, for not studying.
3) The teacher, for not acknowledging the fact that spider is spelled with a 6.
4) The color of the ink.

If you chose four, congratulations, you're British (sorry about that).

We're really sorry.

Some schools are banning the use of red ink, claiming it's too confrontational and threatening. Supporters of the ban go on record saying red ink demotivates children (apparently, bad grades don't). Instead of red, students will see green, which is called a "neutral" color, ever since it didn't pick a side during World War II. Other colored inks students will see on their homework assignments are blue, pink, and yellow. Bright yellow, as studies have shown, is much easier on the eyes.

4) The Dictionary

It’s not uncommon for schools to ban certain books on the grounds that they contain words which they believe should never reach an innocent twelve year old’s face-holes. One of those banned books is the dictionary. Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary has been prohibited from a Californian school because it “contains age-inappropriate” words. An example of these offensive words is “oral sex”.

I'm getting so hot right now.

The trouble started when a student found the word and its definition (it simply read as “oral stimulation of the genitals”) and a parent complained about it. A district spokeswoman said "It's hard to sit and read the dictionary, but we'll be looking to find other things of a graphic nature".

Oh yeah, whenever people want some happy time, they read the dictionary. How can you not get off at “oral stimulation of the genitals”? It's erotica.

5) Words

What do the words dinosaur, Halloween, birthday, junk food, aliens, and dancing bring to mind? The greatest party in history ever? A decent SyFy original movie? Well, in New York City, those words are offensive. New York City has banned those words from appearing on city-issued tests, along with other words such as poverty and dancing. The reason why is because the New York City Department of Education want to avoid offending anyone or to incite unpleasant emotions. If New York City didn't want to incite unpleasant emotions, they shouldn't have had removed salt from McDonald's fries.

I'm offended because I'm unable increase my blood pressure to deep ocean levels.

The reasoning for choosing the words were: the word “dinosaurs” may anger Creationists, since it references evolution; Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate birthdays, so that word is out the window too; “Halloween” references paganism. Other words on the list include terrorism, vermin, abuse, and divorce.

Hey, at least they aren't banning tag and contact games as obesity epidemics run rampant!

Tags: Rules, Schools, Insanity 46

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