I'm getting very sporadic in doing these aren't I? I suck.

Anyway you might remember Monday's Riff about Arthur Kavanaugh, who sexed his way around Europe while achieving amazing things despite being born without arms or legs. Well today we're going to look at Matthias Buchinger, who...sexed his way around Europe while achieving amazing things despite being born without arms or legs. Huh.

I'm going to let wikipedia take this for a few sentences because frankly their dry, scientifically detached tone adds so much more to this than I ever could:

Buchinger was married four times and had at least fourteen children (by eight women). He is also rumored to have had children by up to seventy mistresses. Buchinger's fame was so widespread that in the 1780s the term "Buckinger's boot" existed in England as a euphemism for the vagina (because the only "limb" he had was his penis)

But what really set Matthias apart was his skill as an artist and engraver. His works were known for their incredible detail and technical skill. For example here is a self-portrait:



And here is a close-up of the hair in the same portrait:



That's seven full psalms and the Lord's Prayer all engraved so finely that they look like hair until you put your face about an inch away. I just want to emphasize that was done by a man without hands.

Well I guess if anyone's reading this and has been wondering how to impress the laydeez. You know what to do now.