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Letters That Are Chained
By FaceTheCitizen | Edited by MeatPuppet | 21st October, 2015 | 7:47 pm | The Moped Insurgency

The Moped Insurgency
a boy and his gurl walk thru the park in a nice summer day. Da gurl askd the boy if he luved her.

"i dont" the boy said before leaving her.

The girl cryed and cried as she ran home. When she got home her mom said "gurl...boy is ded."

"how?" askd the gurl.

"he blow himself up to murder the infidels at the park."

gurl then realsed boy lie to her so she can run away and be safe from jihad.

like dis if u cry every time.


The picture had a caption attached to it: LIKE THIS IF YOU WANT TO STOP JOSEPH KONY.

Everett Tim shrugged and liked the picture. "Why not?"

Somewhere, in a secret military base, an officer looked at the screen. "Sir, our picture has finally reached 100,000 likes!"

"Fire the missiles!" the commander yelled.

Somewhere in Africa, Kony looked up at the sky. "Is that a giant Facebook thumb?"


Jesus and his disciples were resting on a cliffside. As they rested, Jesus told them, "My disciples, I must let you know that I will die one day and I must do so to save you all from your sins."

"But why?" Peter asked. "You don't have to do this!"

"I don't have to-what? Let me be clear, I'm the Son of God. I can do whatever the fuck I want."



A boy and a grl were on a date. The gurl said to the boy ilove you.

teh boy said 'i dun love you.'

The gir murdered the boy and hid his body behind her house with all the others.

Like this if you cry evry time.


Six-year-old Abraham waited alongside the other African children by the road. A small truck pulled up and a man exited the truck, a sad look on his face.

"What happened?" Abraham's father asked.

"I'm sorry," said the driver. "We didn't get enough likes. We won't have clean water tonight, children."

For the first time in Abraham's life, he felt true disappointment in Facebook.


The caption on the picture said, "Open Your Palm. Speak Your Wish Into Your Palm. Close it. Share this and open your Palm. Your wish will come true."

Everett Tim followed the instructions to the letter. Once he shared the picture, he opened his palm.

The screams began a few seconds later. Everett walked to the window to witness his wish come true. People ran out of the streets as flames consumed them. Balls of fire rained from the blood-red sky, black clouds swirling above the world, a million crows flying from the ebony nimbus, each one cawing a death song for humanity.

Everett Tim spread his arms wide and embraced the end.

Tags: Fiction 23

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