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Beernpotatoes Reviews Cars: 2015 Toyota Corolla
By Beernpotatoes | Edited by MeatPuppet | 13th August, 2015 | 6:12 am

In ye olde times, Toyota had its flagship sedan (the Camry), which was big, came with a very good V6 engine, and could be upgraded almost to the level of a Lexus with various bells and whistles. Toyota's entry-level car (the Corolla) was small, inexpensive, and came with no bells and whistles. Between the two models, Toyota had the Tercel, which was bigger than the Corolla, but crappier than the Camry, and for those reasons, no one bought it. Toyota still makes a slightly-larger-than-entry-level-but-crappier-than-the-Camry car, only now they call it the Corolla.


Good points:
It's ugly, it has no power, the steering is twitchy, and the brakes are grabby. And then there are its faults...

I mention these qualities jokingly, because in any other type of car, they'd be a bad thing. But you have to consider the people who will buy a Corolla. A Corolla is a commuter car and a student car. This is not a car for racing through winding country roads - it's a car for negotiating crowded parking garages, for dodging SUVs on suburban streets and for delivering pizzas. For these tasks, you want a car ugly enough so you won't be heartbroken when it gets dinged up. You'll also appreciate the grabby brakes when some nimrod pulls out of his parking space at you without looking. This is a car suited to its environment. That environment is NOT the Nürburgring.

Let's be honest. The Corolla will never be as popular as the Civic, just as the Accord will never be as popular as the Camry. Notwithstanding, it is a Toyota, meaning that it will last forever. Also, it has all of the electronics. All of them. Except power seats. It doesn't have those. But it has Bluetooth, a reverse camera, a great sound system... all kinds of doodads that used to only come with higher-end cars. Finally, because it's both bigger and uglier than its predecessors, there's a lot more room in the interior. The back seat will comfortably accommodate three American sized adults - a feat that not even most Mercedes Benzes can boast - while the trunk will easily accommodate three American-sized dead hookers.

But mostly, there's the gas mileage. I didn't run a calculation because I find numbers to be meaningless when compared to real world situations. So consider this: I filled the tank ($25) at the Wawa on Indian River Road in Kempsville, and then proceeded to drive up 64/95 in weekend traffic. By the time I got to Fredericksburg, it was still showing 3/4 full. For my Irish friends, that's like Dublin to Gallway. For my French friends, that's like Paris to Le Mans. For my Czech friends... look, you get the idea.

Bad points:
Unfortunately, the Corolla is desperately uncomfortable. There was no position I could put the driver's seat in a way that did not cause my back to instantly cramp up. Not only are the seats badly positioned, but they are flimsy, hard, and shaped in a way to extract maximum pain in a minimum amount of time.

Final thoughts:
Despite the fact that it is reasonably priced (About $18,000 nicely equipped - just slightly less than the Civic), alarmingly fuel efficient, and dreadful to drive, still wouldn't recommend this car. If you are in the market for a car like this, you're probably the kind of person who will spend a LOT of time in it. Whether you're running deliveries for the local Chinese takeout or just sitting in rush hour traffic, every day....... for hours........ and hours..... After a week of ending your day with your back feeling like mine does right now, you're going to learn to loathe this car. You'll probably kick it when you think no one's looking. And you just can't force yourself to make monthly payments on a car that makes you want to kick it repeatedly.

Tags: Cars, Review 18

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