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How to Make a Salad
By Qinglong | 12th May, 2013 | 7:24 pm

Zeke's sandwich post inspired me. Alas, it only inspired me to write this:

How to Make a Salad
Step One: Buy a food processor. It doesn't matter what kind.
Step Two: Unpack the food processor. Inhale that wonderful, fresh, plastic smell of fresh plastic. That should whet your appetite.
Step Three: Plug the food processor in. There should be an appropriate orifice somewhere.
Step Four: Buy or harvest fresh vegetables. Any vegetables. No fruit.
Step Five: Eh, get some fruit, too. Fresh.
Step Six: As long as you're in the market/garden/woods/backyard, pick up some herbs, too.
Step Seven: Hack at produce until the chunks are small enough to cram into the food processor. You can use a knife or your karate-chopping hand.
Step Eight: Find the pulse button on the food processor and mash it a few times. Or use the On button if you prefer your food in liquid form. Like spiders do.
Step Nine: Pour results into handy bowl. If hungry/lazy, eat directly from food processor.
Step Ten: Feel the health coursing through your body.

Tags: Short, Humor, Cooking 10


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