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3 Inexplicable Decisions
By Deathclaw_Puncher | 27th February, 2015 | 11:39 am | ETBJ's Incoherent Ramblings

ETBJ's Incoherent Ramblings
The human brain is a mysterious thing. On one hand it gave us science, the internet, and Chaliapin steak. On the other hand, it also gave us Nazis, the original position fallacy, and the belief that Katy Perry is evil.

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She's wrong, of course. It's Zooey Deschanel that's the evil one.


I thought I had terms for situations like these, but apparently, neither apophenia nor "delusions of reference" are correct. Thus, these situations are part of an endless mystery! *ghostly noises*

Without further ado, here is another look at the nonsensical dumbfuckery of humanity.

3.A Man demands a homophobic cake

Generally my views regarding free speech are generally on par with that of Europe, but this story isn't about that. It's one thing to have religious beliefs, but most people have the decency to recognize things such as time, place, and context rather than shove their views in your face like a Dagwood sandwich.

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Not pictured: Asphyxiation and/or heart failure


A man in Denver apparently didn't get the memo, because he filed a complaint against a baker for refusing to go through with his order. The man ordered a bible shaped cake in advance, which naturally wouldn't have at all been a problem. The thing is, he decided to make a few last minute additions, those additions being having the cake being decorated with homophobic slurs and a depiction of two men holding hands with a large X on top.

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In other words, he essentially demanded the cake version of a Youtube comment section.


This is a man so adamant in his bigotry that he just has to spout off his views to random strangers without the slightest bit of context like some sort of bigoted Paranormal Activity jump scare. Of course, a great mystery lies within the cake itself. What was it for? It was bible shaped so it must have been a church thing, but I doubt a church would go so far as to order those last minutes additions even if they held those views. For all I know, given his behavior, he may very well have just gotten it for himself to chuckle over.

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"Happy douchebag to me!"


2. Arizona Sisters Get Nude In A Buddhist Temple

Look, I know exhibitionism is a thing and everything, and one of the illegal fetishes, but again, this entry isn't about that. This is about two schmucks who decided to shoot a porno in a world heritage site. Angkor Wat to be precise.

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To be fair, the spires are quite phallic.


I've got nothing against porn videos, and I get that this genre would have a similar purpose as lolicon, but really, Angkor Wat? An 800 year old super-mega-ultra holy Buddhist temple? Do these siblings have, at all, the ability to process reason? Because, unless you're of Greco-Roman origins or from 2000 years ago, or some other ancient culture with orgy temples (in which case, welcome to future, how the hell are you here?!) sacred sites aren't exactly the place for sexual activity.

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No matter what miko hentai says otherwise.


1. A League of Legends Womens' Tournament Declares Lesbians and Transwomen Have An Unfair Advantage

There has been some controversy over the past few years regarding transwomen in sports and whether their still genetically XY chromosomed bodies give them an unfair advantage, which of course is bullshit given that there are plenty of women who can beat men in feats of athleticism, so what does it matter if one contestant used to be physically male? Now, questions regarding fairness in athleticism is one thing, but one wouldn't expect such a thing to come up in a non-athletic sport, and yet, here we are.

That's right, a League of Legends E-sports organizer for a regional womens' tournament centered around users in Malaysia and Singapore put a cap on the number of lesbians and transwomen that can be on a team, stated as such: The new rule will limit each five-person LoL team to having "a maximum of one (1) gay/transgendered woman for the entirety of the tournament day," and the rules clarified that a team cannot go so far as to swap a gay or transgender player for another between matches". This of course, is bullshit, because if being LGBT gave women an advantage in video games, then the Legend of Korra video game would be much easier to beat.


Goddamn mecha tanks!



Fortunately, the tournament organizers came to their senses and lifted the cap.

Tags: People 22


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