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Riff of the Day: An Explosive New Edition
By NisiOptimum | 7th May, 2013 | 6:29 am | Riff of the Day

Riff of the Day
English explorer John Smith lived such a crazy life that for years historians just thought he was lying in his autobiography until evidence turned up confirming most of it. When not seducing his way out of slavery or fighting duels in Russia he's best known for the story of how his life was saved by the Native American princess Pocahontas. Less known is the story of why he had to leave Virginia. A couple months after Pocahontas saved him a gunpowder pouch around Smith's waist exploded and blew his genitals off, forcing him to return to Britain.

Incidentally Pocahontas wasn't her real name but an insulting nickname roughly translating to "little skank." Honestly it's like Disney left half this story out for some reason.

Tags: Genitals, Short, Nisi, Pocohontas, History 0

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