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A Brief History of 3 Ordinary Things
By Deathclaw_Puncher | 26th November, 2013 | 12:00 am | ETBJ's Incoherent Ramblings

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A Brief History of 3 Ordinary Things


In this modern world of ours, we tend to not bat an eye at ordinary things, such as glass, string, and goat sex. It's quite a shame, really, as so much history has been taken for granted for centuries. It's not just objects we take for granted, but food as well. For example, no one stops to think about the history of coconuts.
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What secrets do you hold?


Anyways, here's a history of 3 ordinary things:

Chairs

Since we tend to get sore and tired, these right-angled hard slabs of comfort are much appreciated. Though dating as far back as 2680 BCE, being first invented in Egypt, it was pretty much a luxury item. In Tang Dynasty China (618-907 CE), a "folding stool" of sorts began to be a part of Chinese palaces. In fact, chairs didn't exactly become commonplace until the 16th century. Until then, the common folk primarily sat on stools, benches, and chests.

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Look at that bastard! All smug and and shit because he's sitting on a container of things...


Despite the growing popularity of chairs, they didn't exactly become completely commonplace in America until the 1880s. Metal chairs arose in the 20th century and the 1960's gave rise to butterfly and beanbag chairs, presumably because they were more orgy-tastic.

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The last person to shine a black-light on this thing developed Porphyria.


Black Currants

Black currants are a strange fruit. They are delicate, look like those poisonous berries that birds fatten on, and taste as if the bastard child of a blueberry and a Marion blackberry drowned in simple syrup. Naturally, a fruit as strange as this must have an interesting history.

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As well as a stint in the porn industry.


The black currant is native to Northern Europe and Asia and has been cultivated since the 11th century, largely in the gardens of Russian monasteries. It wasn't cultivated in Europe until the 17th century. Black currants were largely used in herbal remedies, as the syrup made from them was found to soothe sore throats.In the early 1900s, black currants were banned in the United States because they were considered harmful to the US logging industry, as they are prone to white pine blister rust. Black currants remained banned on the federal level until 1966. Due to the scarcity of vitamin C rich fruits in the UK during WWII, the British government encouraged the production of black currants, and throughout the war, black currant syrup was distributed to children under the age of two free of charge.

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Hi-jinks ensued when the black currant syrup got mixed up with blackberry schnapps.


Drawing Pins

The flamboyant cousin of the thumb tack, the push pin is that thing that you stick to cork board that you stabbed people with as a child due to pretending they were light sabers.

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What do you mean I'm the only one that did that?


The type of drawing pin that we call a push pin was invented by Edwin Moore in 1900 as a way to pin maps. Moore went on to establish the Moore Push Pin company. Apparently not a fan of convenience, German clock-maker Johann Kirsten flattened the tops and invented the thumbtack in 1904 as an aide in drawing. This invention would later unfortunately become a popular snack among small children.

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Part of a healthy breakfast?

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Tags: random, humor, short 26


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